Build Date: Sat Jan 17 16:40:24 2026 UTC
Cunts are right up there with World Peace and 4.5 cubic liter normally aspirated V8 stockblock engines in my book.
-- Tjames
The One Trump Conspiracy That Will Explain Everything
2017-05-18 06:50:41
I have a theory that President Trump wants to be impeached. Maybe it's a desperate cry for help...
Here's a man who's spent his entire adult life under a billion dollars in crushing debt. With banks refusing to lend to him, his only source of cash is Russian mob money (or other nefarious black market types). He himself has no choice but to get into business with bad hombres. (So of course he's not going to release his tax returns...)
For years he's been trying to escape, grabbing on to one desperate venture after another. (Trump casinos! Trump university! A reality TV show with Gary Busey and Sinbad!) But the reason he sells these get-rich-quick schemes is he's urgently in need of one himself. A friend even said Trump only ran for president because he hoped it'd help him negotiate more money for the next season of Celebrity Apprentice.
This lifetime of servitude could explain Trump's reckless impulsiveness, his whole "What do I got to lose" attitude. (Because whatever bad things could happen, crossing the Russian malefactors would be worse.) You could almost feel sorry for him if you imagine some horrific extortionistic putting-on-the-pressure. There's already Deep State sources warning that Trump cabinet members could be subject to blackmail. (That's what bad hombres do...)
When Clinton called him Putin's puppet, he shot back immediately "You're the puppet." It was almost reflexive. He couldn't let that stand unanswered; that was the rawest nerve of all. According to The Washington Post, even Trump's closest ally has already confided to Republican leaders -- last summer -- that Putin might be funnelling money to Trump.
Years ago Robert Altman directed a forgotten movie about Nixon. After resigning Nixon privately reveals that his whole career had been orchestrated by wealthy investors. That he'd wanted to stop the Vietnam war, but his war-monger investors wouldn't let him. So Nixon made it happen himself. He used campaign funds to hire burglars, then recorded himself having incriminating conversations -- discussing bribes to the co-conspirators, instructing his staff to lie to the FBI. And, he fired his attorney general (as well as his Deputy Attorney General).
Trump did exactly what Nixon did. He fired his attorney general -- 19 weeks after taking office. Then he immediately invited Russians to the White House, and divulged classified secrets. He's even started taping his own incriminating conversations in the White House.
Is he crazy like a fox? Or is it all just a desperate cry for help.
Is he trying to get himself impeached?

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
"Gee, I wish I was older."
"So do I." (More...)
Yet another delicious SPOCKTAIL from the SMRL Beverage Science Labs! Check under the cap for your chance to win thousands of fabulous prizes! (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)