Pigdog Tracks Down Mr. T
2000-10-10 22:02:02
For those Pigdog readers that came of age in the early 80's, you'll remember the TV series the "A-Team". It was a show about 4 Vietnam vets on the run from the Army for a crime they didn't commit - forced to make a living in the LA underground as mercenaries righting wrongs.
The only thing that was worse then the acting, was the dialog. And the only worse then the dialog was their shooting. In every single episode, they'd always fire away at the bad guys with massive assault weapons on full auto at damn near point blank range and nobody EVER got hit. And don't get me started only how many times someone got in a major car rollover with out wearing a seatbelt and walk away smiling and brushing the dust off. Still, it was what the A-Team did... lots of firepower and big explosions and no body count.
It starred George Peppard as Col. John "Hannibal" Smith, some loser named Dirk Benedict as Lt. Templeton "Faceman" Peck, an indecipherable twit Dwight Schultz as Capt. "Howling Mad" Murdock and the reason the showed crawled across the 100 episode line needed for syndication, Mr. T (Lawrence Turead) as Sgt. Bosco "Bad Attitude" Baracus.
As L. Fitzgerald Sjöberg writing for the Brunching Shuttlecocks so recently and correctly points out "...Mr. T was and is the cornerstone of the A-Team franchise. Without him, the show might as well have been titled "Three White Guys Get Cancelled."
For those of you that have been wondering just what Mr. T's been doing, we have the answer. Making commercials for the Oregon Lottery. As usual, he's stomping around, scaring the hell out of the white folks. At least he least working in the Biz, as I think Mr. T. might have problems getting a job selling insurance or pumping gas. He's been type-casted worse then just about anyone in Hollywood, for that, "I pity the poor fool."
So if you want to hear Mr. T say "Who wants to give Mr. T foot rub?" to a tailer full of white people.
(Note: QuickTime viewer required)

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
On a hot spring night after dinner and before the night's serious drinking begins, a Romulan Highball really hits the spot. (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)