Build Date: Mon Aug 3 09:10:16 2026 UTC
The sun is my enemy. It must be extinguished.
-- Flesh
News FLASH!!! Demos Assured of a White House Victory
2000-11-09 14:34:18
Democrats have secret weapon in race for President.
As I'm sure you are all aware of, there has not been a definitive outcome in last Tuesday election for the office of the President of the United States. It seems that due to the some obscure parts of the Constitution and etc. etc. etc. and yadda yadda yadda (like we need to talk about how the Electoral College works again) the most powerful position on the planet is being decided by Cuba exiles and Jewish retirees in southern Florida right now.
Or is it?
The crack reporting staff here at the Pigdog Journal has been talking with unnamed sources inside the National Democratic Committee and it seems that the Democrats have an ace up stuffed down their pants due to some precipitous and long range planning.
As long as Gore takes Oregon, the sources said, they got the election in the bag. Because with Oregon going to Gore and Florida to Bush, the Electoral College would be 267 to 271. However, the sources say, they planted moles deep inside the Republican Party long ago. These sources assure us here at the PDJ that at least 3 of these moles will be selected by the Republicans as delegates at the Electoral College. With these 3 swing votes, moving from the Bush column to the Gore column, the Electoral College vote count would reverse and Bush would get 268 and Gore would have 270 and would become the next President of the United States.
These moles are apparently hippies that went underground 35 years ago, forced to trade their Levis and VW-Buses for Armani suits and Lexus'. These radicals have been living in the suburbs, forced to raise their kids in elite public schools and attend morning Republican funding raising pray breakfasts all these years will finally have their revenge. Fuckin' A, who'd a thunk that the fate of the nation is controlled by a small group of ex-hippies.
More information as this story develops.
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
Body and Soul, a night of fucking in San Francisco
For the benefit of Pigdog readers, I took it upon myself to explore the deep frontiers of human behavior and attend a saucy festival of the flesh. This was no ordinary fete of carnal delights, dearie. (More...)
First there was the Bloody Mary: Vodka, Tomato Juice, Worcestershire sauce, some spices, and celery. We drank it, and it was good. Then any drink with tomato juice got a prefix of "bloody" attached to it. We drank them, and they were mostly bad. Now Pigdog gets back to basics and introduces The Bloody Dog, a drink with REAL BLOOD in it. HUMAN BLOOD. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
Things to Say When You're Losing a Technical Argument
Mr. Bad and Crackmonkey collaborate on a fine Mr. Bad's List. We put together ALL the TECHNOLOGY you ever need to know in order to STUMP your OPPONENT in a technical argument. Use these only when your back is against the wall -- they're definitely desperation tactics. (More...)
