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If someone like Karl Rove had wanted to neutralize the most creative, intelligent, and passionate members of his opposition, he'd have a hard time coming up with a better tool than Burning Man. Exile them to the wilderness, give them a culture in which alpha status requires months of focus and resource-consumptive preparation, provide them with metric tons of psychotropic confusicants, and then... ignore them. It's a pretty safe bet that they won't be out registering voters, or doing anything that might actually threaten electoral change, when they have an art car to build.
-- John Perry Barlow

Secret Service Agents say Cheney was Drunk

by Baron Earl

2006-02-23 11:49:30

Secret Service Agents have reportedly stated that Vice President Dick Cheney was drunk at the time he shot Harry Whittington on a hunting trip two weeks ago. The day and a half delay in letting law enforcement onto the ranch to interview the hunting party gave the group plenty of time to sober up.

One Secret Service agent at the scene has been placed on administrative leave. Another requested reassignment this week. Sources said that a memo written by one agent has been destroyed.

Secret Service agents reportedly seized all blood tests of Harry Whittington from the local hospital and ordered doctors not to talk about the case with reporters.

Said one White House aide, "This was a South Texas hunt, of course there was drinking. There's always drinking. Lots of it."

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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