Build Date: Mon Aug 3 09:10:15 2026 UTC
I've been on the road doing comedy for ten years now, so bear with me while I plaster on a fake smile and plow through this shit one more time.
-- Bill Hicks
Secret Service Agents say Cheney was Drunk
2006-02-23 11:49:30
Secret Service Agents have reportedly stated that Vice President Dick Cheney was drunk at the time he shot Harry Whittington on a hunting trip two weeks ago. The day and a half delay in letting law enforcement onto the ranch to interview the hunting party gave the group plenty of time to sober up.
One Secret Service agent at the scene has been placed on administrative leave. Another requested reassignment this week. Sources said that a memo written by one agent has been destroyed.
Secret Service agents reportedly seized all blood tests of Harry Whittington from the local hospital and ordered doctors not to talk about the case with reporters.
Said one White House aide, "This was a South Texas hunt, of course there was drinking. There's always drinking. Lots of it."
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