Build Date: Tue Feb 17 17:30:19 2026 UTC
Don't condescend to me, frat boy.
-- Thom 'Starky' Stark
Keep Your Hands Off of My PC
2002-03-02 19:23:01
In a screeching rant that would make any PDJ author proud, Thom Greene of The Register rips into Senator Hollings (D - SC) and his ludicrous "dog and pony" SSSCA hearings Hollings held early this week.
As most PDJ readers know, any PC that would be legal under the SSSCA would be rendered to nothing more then an expensive VCR/CD that crashed on a regular basis (just to remind you that Microsoft Windows was Inside.) Any sort of real and effective anti-copy protection requires the hardware and the operating system to distrust and disallow all but "validated" programs, applications and content. Under the SSSCA, if some byte hasn't been blessed by one of the few privileged multi-national corporations allowed to bless bytes, you can bet your sweet ass that "your" PC will choke on it. Your PC will probably also be programmed to alert your local police department that you've been practicing unsafe computing. And Linux will never, ever qualify as an SSSCA approved product.
An Intel VP, Leslie Vadasz, echoed this thought, in an uncharacteristic moment of sanity in Sen. Hollings' private little hearing room - which is really more of country club, where only the most generous donors are permitted membership and allowed to speak. And for his efforts, Sen. Hollings berated Vadasz for not marching to the corporate drum. Or at least Sen. Hollings' corporate drum.
First elected in 1966, Sen. Hollings is rapidly setting himself up to become the poster boy of Senatorial term limits. Oblivious to the technical revolution of the past 40 years and obviously in the pocket of his corporate masters, it appears that Hollings is willing to destroy the personal freedoms of millions of computer using Americans, along with permanently crippling US technical leadership in this field, all for just the few shekels the MPAA and RIAA tossed into to his re-election basket.
I'd tell you to write to Senator Hollings and inform him just what a bad idea the SSSCA is, but it is clear that Sen. Hollings thinks that anyone that wants to copy a file or write a program or just use a computer in an "unapproved" fashion is a criminal that should be heavily fined and then locked up. So instead, I urge you to join the EFF and fight for your rights.
Those evil bastards in the House and Senate might have slipped the DMCA over on us when we weren't watching, but not this time... not this time. And we certainly might lose fight against the SSSCA, but at least we'll be watching and protesting. I certainly plan to make myself as annoying as possible to those that support the SSSCA and won't be watching the SSSCA become law with any shred of probity or dignity remaining.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
The One I Feel Sorry For Is Joses
We've had a lot of Jesus coverage lately here at the PDJ. But let's face it, we're not exactly cutting-edge in this subject area. Jesus has been making headlines for, oh, I guess it's a couple thousand years now. Jesus is a very strong brand. Jesus has a lot of mindshare. (More...)
Ratsnatcher gets HOT HOT HOT in this classic road tale that looks at the steamy underworld of Bay Area Linux advocacy. Loosen your collar for this one! (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
