Build Date: Tue Apr 16 23:50:06 2024 UTC

We must pioneer the next step after telecommuting: TELEBARHOPPING.
-- The Compulsive Splicer

George W. Bush Confronts Online Insurrection

by El Destino

2001-08-08 13:24:27

You can't have political dissent without a MIDI playing Devo's "Whip It." See George W. Bush! Dancing! In a tutu! In blue boxer shorts!

Disrespect is inevitable for any President, let alone an inarticulate lightweight who stole the election. But why squirm helplessly in electoral powerlessness when you can fuse political commentary to the Hamsterdance. Elsewhere on the web, surfers can even pow-wow with the interactive dancing George W. Bush. Select from a menu of disco moves and disco lights!

The "dancing Bush" gag gets old after a while -- as yet-another wacky webmaster throws in Dick Cheney in Speedos. But for a jarring juxtaposition, they've added at the bottom of the page "Help prevent drunk driving." They're serious. The link leads to one of those scary Sunday school poems. ("I went to a party, and remembered what you said. You told me not to drink, Mom, so I had a Sprite instead....") In earnest all-capital letters, they even plead "WE ARE HOPING TO GET 5,000 SIGNATURES ON THIS, THEN PASS IT ON TO THE PRESIDENT." Maybe they can include one of those naked dancing Al Gore/Chippendale images, too. I'm sure the drunk-driving President and his stop sign-running wife will be receptive.

Living under the reign of a malevolent usurper, the unwashed masses grow turbulent. In an ugly rainbow of festering disempowerment, they create an ad hoc online town meeting where the obscure meet the disobedient in a summit of bad folk art. Alternating waves of rebellion and apathy, the throng congregates endlessly, sending each other talking postcards from Dress'em up Dubya, and secretly wishing their President was Hunter S. Thompson.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

T O P   S T O R I E S

Commas. are, the, best, punctuation, ever

C L A S S I C   P I G D O G