Build Date: Wed Apr 15 00:20:09 2026 UTC
I no longer have a soul, having bartered it long ago for dashing good looks and a handful of super-powers.
-- Lenny Tuberose
Bush Threatens Press!
2001-06-03 14:50:07
The first impression I got of George W. Bush was that his campaign had tried to reserve every single domain name that might sound like a criticism of him. "bushsucks.com" and whatnot all pointed to his campaign stuff. "Here," said I, "is a man who will eventually become outraged at the press and do something scary like that Comidus guy in Gladiator." Only Gladiator wasn't out yet, I think.
And now he's started! Over an invasion of his family life! There was a really threatening press conference one of Bush's cronies gave!
He said things like, "I would urge all of you to very carefully think through how much you want to pursue this," and, "any reaction of the parents is parental; it is not governmental. It is family." I mean, holy shit! A horse's head on the pillow is more subtle!
I understand that in the city, it's a pity, because you just can't hide, and that tinted windows don't mean nothing because they know who's inside. The invasion of the press can be annoying. You can't go to nude beaches or sell heroin on TV or anything like that. If you're the First Nubile Twins, you can't buy alcohol illegally without trouble (though I suspect you could just have Secret Service sneak you some hooch and if I were the President that's what I'd tell 'em to do from now on). It sucks. It makes you want to punch out photographers!
Go on, George W! The photographers are RIGHT THERE! Do you see them, egging you on? Show 'em who's boss. You're President - you don't have to take shit from anyone! Take a swing! Be a man!
And tell 'em Pigdog sent you!
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