Build Date: Thu Dec 11 21:20:18 2025 UTC
Maybe if you didn't keep the Internet under that leaky sink of yours, we'd be a little better off.
-- Mr. Bad
Still Up For the Party? America's Dance Floors Are Graying
2000-11-22 12:28:29
Raving over 30 doesn't have to be embarassing anymore.
Once upon a time in my twenties, I could spend two to four nights a week on a dancefloor and still hold a day job.
Now that I've hit 30, I really need some rest.
A recent attempt at re-living my yonder years left me immobile most of Sunday. I forgot what happened on Monday. It was too blurry. I overslept past my alarm on Tuesday. By the afternoon, I was sliding out of my chair. I left work early and canceled evening plans.
Despite these reminders of spinal fluid running dry and bone mass atrophying, I was not alone elder among sprightly youth at that recent San Francisco party.
There, to my surprize, a good portion of the crowd was hardly of the puerile sort.
That leads me to a couple of guesses. Maybe there's an ancient rave culture in San Francisco that never burned out. Could it be that there's a scene so compelling that retiring seems unimaginable?
Okay, maybe that's a stretch. Some of the ancients I met confessed they had actually been really boring and sober until they discovered Paul Oakenfold and ecstasy. One of them said he just happen to be there via a roomate. Some had no idea what they were getting into, but they were told it would be both "tactile" and "visual" - that scantily clad glitter goddesses and fruit fairies would be at their beckon call.
One of my friends who spent most of his teens and early 20s clubbing and getting loaded claims he got it out of his system early. He wouldn't be caught doing it after 30.
"It's a mid-life crisis kind of reaction," he wrote.
While that may be, today's DJs have to deal with the fact that crowds are getting both younger as well as older. The kids may have the time and more bounce in their step, but guess who's got the money? I suspect some parties are trying to cater to these graying customers for fear of alienating the well-heeled.
You can't go to a party anymore without finding a chill-out room for resting the weary bones (in fact, whose even dancing anymore?). More mellow sounds like "Downtempo" and "Dad House" are sneaking into many a DJ mix. Shall we waltz?
Shame on these Republican-like producers! As they grow all the more crusty and dated, they worry that rock blocking BPMs will cause massive brain hemorrhaging or hearing loss.
What they might not realize is that, for most of us, it already has.
Over 25? Decided to give it up? Grab a glowcane and join the Raver Geriatrics list. http://www.raverg.org.

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Suru and I were at the local supermarket recently when we found ourselves in the booze isle, surrounded by rum. Banana rum, coconut rum, vanilla rum, unfiltered run, Jamaican rum, rum, rum, and more rum. We bought one of each and started experimenting... (More...)
Datelined "Historic Mariposa," the fateful press release came in like an angry wind, announcing the release of a self-produced album, "Ordinary Hero," by occasional Pigdog contributor Thom Stark, in the language and tone of a Major Event, setting off a brief firestorm around the pigdog mailing list. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)