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I realize Webvan is going to fold any second, but do you realize they are giving away FREE HAM!?!
-- Quaker State Tapioca Rupture
Fascist Judge Stomps on YOUR Freedom to Innovate with Steel-Spiked Jackboots!!!!!!
2000-04-04 13:14:44
April 3, 2000 will go down in history as the darkest day EVER for free-market ethics and values. The Department of Justice has wrapped its clammy claws around the throat of American business, strangling it to DEATH! Hang your head in SHAME, Americans, because we have let the secret One World Government strip away our FREEDOM to INNOVATE!
Yesterday, Judge Thomas "Action" Jackson issued a heinous and unreadable gobbledygook of legalese, the end of a long and painful court-room lynching of the Microsoft Corporation. Surprising all clear-thinking citizens, Jackson was apparently suckered in by the pinch-faced, limp-wristed MARKET WEAKLINGS who have come tattle-taling to the government about Microsoft's so-called anti-competitive business practices. In a spectacular slap in the face to American values, Jackson declared Microsoft a so-called "monopoly" in the operating systems market. (An "operating system" is the "brain" of a computer. It controls the brightness and contrast of your "monitor" as well as the "World Wide Web.")
Jackson should have stepped out from behind his smokescreen of legal-schmegal baloney and just URINATED directly on the American flag. At least that would have been more honest! This ruling has set Free Enterprise back ten thousand years, to the days of PRIEST-KINGS in ZIGGURATS who RULED the MASSES with bloodthirsty HUMAN SACRIFICE and HEATHEN IDOLS made of MUD and STRAW!
Everybody knows that the Sherman Anti-Trust Act is the last refuge of cowards, ass-biters and FREE MARKET LOSERS. That these WORMS could come out of the WOODWORK and TURN the POWER of the FEDERAL GOVERNMENT against one of most successful companies in U.S. history is an OUTRAGE. John Galt would shit his Calvin Kleins over this situation, I am absolutely sure. What can honest people do when FREE AGENTS in an OPEN MARKET are not able to buy and sell widgets at whatever cost the market will bear?!
And what the hell does "anti-competitive practices" mean? Could MICROSOFT, the most ass-kicking, BALLS-OUT corporation ever to grace the Pacific Northwest, even conceivably be called "anti-competitive?" Is charging down the court and slam-dunking in your opponent's FACE anti-competitive, then? Microsoft should not be punished for their success! Perhaps Judge Jackson wants to put Michael Jordan in JAIL, next? Because he is so ass-kicking at basketball, he is "anti-competitive!" That is how socialists think.
Someday the grandchildren of Scott McNealy and Jim Barksdale will SPIT on the GROUND when they hear the name of their venomous and cringing progenitors. The people of Earth will shake their fists in rage, and burn state attorneys general in effigy! Mark my words!
What's the next step? Well, Jackson has not issued his remedies for the "monopoly," yet, but SOURCES have speculated on the following possible outcomes of the case:
Perhaps you think that this outcome would be GOOD, and you'd like to have your rights be trompled by the lowest sludge of humanity. Well, bully for you. But I humbly suggest that ALL RIGHT-THINKING AMERICANS arm themselves immediately, and join Microsoft's Freedom to Innovate Network. Only YOU can protect our free market rights! Go check it out today!
[NOTE: this article is the opinion of the author and does not reflect those of the other editors of Pigdog Journal.]
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