Build Date: Sun Jun 15 15:43:49 2025 UTC
Ha ha! Flesh! You can't go back and change what I wrote! That's pathetic!!
-- Wendolonia
It Takes 2 to Tango, But Only 1 To Be An Asshole
2000-02-04 14:44:21
A Maryland judge is being investigated for possible violation of the state's code of judicial conduct after telling an 11-year-old sexual assault victim that "it takes two to tango." Uh, somebody rent Lolita a few to many times?
Now this wasn't anything like a man-leaping-outta-bushes rape case. In fact the "assault" actually involved this 23-year-old internet buddy going down on the little girl in her bedroom. But still, I really doubt that oral sex was what the child had in mind when she told her chatroom friend where she lived (hello, parents!? clue: tell your kids not to give out their address, phone number, mother's maiden name, etc...). I'm betting she was scared outta her gourd, terrified that her parents would find out and even more terrified that they wouldn't... The last thing she needs is some fuckhead authority figure telling her she must have wanted it.
You know who's gonna be really pissed off in about 6 years is any guy trying to have a grown-up relationship with her-- you wanna talk about intimacy issues!
T O P S T O R I E S
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
40 Acres, a Mule, and a Crummy 90-Second Spot on Weekend Update
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A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
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There are two kinds of Assmen in this world. Wild, hairy assmen, who put stickers that say things like "Why Be Normal?" all over their trucks and drink Corona beer and wear fezzes at parties for attention; these are the Assman Desperados. Our job is to ferret them out and expose them. (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Owner of 6 Medical Marijuana Dispensaries Arrested
Reefer madness or a government fabrication? (More...)
