Build Date: Fri Mar 29 06:10:06 2024 UTC
Football is like fishing. Drinking by another name.
-- P a u l
Geronimo's Skull Stolen -- By Secret Society!
2000-09-01 23:45:47
Geronimo's skull was stolen by George Bush's father. An Apache chief, seeking to return the warrior's remains to an Arizona reservation, received a tip from a mole in the secret society.
Photographs of the stolen body parts were sent to the Apache chief as proof that Geronimo's skull had, indeed, been snatched for the covert rituals. In 1918 six army officers, including George Bush's father, decided nothing says prestige like playing with the heads of the dead. They shipped the bones back to the dweeb mother-lode at Yale, where they've been used by a secret society ever since.
Will the senseless head-snatching never end?
T O P S T O R I E S
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
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Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
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Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
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Health and Human Services officials spend a year on pot
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If you've ever wondered what actual bullshit looks like, just check the back side of Lee Meyers' decommissioned police cruiser. Lee chopped the top of the passenger side of the car off so he could take his full-grown Watusi bull, named Howdy Doody, for joy rides around his home town of Neligh, Nebraska. Since the car doesn't have bathroom facilities Howdy Doody just craps all over the back and side of the car whenever he feels the need to let one go. (More...)
Self-righteous assholes block highway to Burning Man
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
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Our man Daemon Agent checks out the heavy heavy sounds of crazy space surf rockers Man or Astroman?. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)