Build Date: Mon Sep 29 17:50:14 2025 UTC
I'm a self-important, ignorant drunk who avoids organized religions like the plague.
-- Johnnie Royale
Geronimo's Skull Stolen -- By Secret Society!
2000-09-01 23:45:47
Geronimo's skull was stolen by George Bush's father. An Apache chief, seeking to return the warrior's remains to an Arizona reservation, received a tip from a mole in the secret society.
Photographs of the stolen body parts were sent to the Apache chief as proof that Geronimo's skull had, indeed, been snatched for the covert rituals. In 1918 six army officers, including George Bush's father, decided nothing says prestige like playing with the heads of the dead. They shipped the bones back to the dweeb mother-lode at Yale, where they've been used by a secret society ever since.
Will the senseless head-snatching never end?
T O P S T O R I E S
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
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Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
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Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
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