Build Date: Sun Jun 16 17:00:08 2024 UTC
I saw the sunrise over Tokyo one morning-- it hurt.
-- Negative Nancy
Duck and Cover!
2000-01-14 17:37:02
Scientists report a HUGE and DESTRUCTIVE BLACK HOLE only 1600 LIGHT YEARS AWAY FROM EARTH. Okay, you all know what to do in case this black hole comes SCREAMING directly toward your home and family, right?
Worse yet, it is emitting a rare kind of emission of X-Ray particles called "microquasars" what have only been detected in three other places, all very distant from earth.
``Either the matter can flow into the black hole without forming an accretion disk or the black hole is significantly different in its mass, spin or charge,'' said Ronald Remmillard of MIT.
What he means, of course, is that the black hole is a brutal killer that ruins families, careers, and hopes.
What to do if a black hole comes within 1600 miles of Earth emitting rare X- rays:
1. Don't let the black hole into your home, no matter how harmless it seems.
2. Don't make eye contact with the black hole or talk to it directly. among black holes, this is considered a challenge for dominance, and you might incite an attack from the black hole.
3. If the black hole gets very close, dilate time and linear distances.
4. Write pigdog telling us about your experiences within a black hole! You can send your time-and-linear-distance-dilated emails to barfback@pigdog.org
5. Keep informed...
T O P S T O R I E S
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS
Mr. Bad, Tjames Madison, and various other Pigdoggers of all stripe take on the makers of JERKCITY in a PIGDOG INTERVIEW DEATHMATCH. (More...)
First in a regular series! The Pigdog Journal Spocktail of the Week features recipes for EXCITING and DELICIOUS potions and tonics for your quaffing pleasure! Gulp down a whole lot TODAY! (More...)
Another Spocktail brought to you by the selfless beveratologists of Spock Mountain Research Labs. You do the math, we'll do the SCIENCE! (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
