Build Date: Mon Jul 13 03:30:09 2026 UTC
It's not an adult feature unless, at the end, someone's gooey. Arcing ropes of jism hitting chins-- that is an adult feature.
-- Bill Hicks
Duck and Cover!
2000-01-14 17:37:02
Scientists report a HUGE and DESTRUCTIVE BLACK HOLE only 1600 LIGHT YEARS AWAY FROM EARTH. Okay, you all know what to do in case this black hole comes SCREAMING directly toward your home and family, right?
Worse yet, it is emitting a rare kind of emission of X-Ray particles called "microquasars" what have only been detected in three other places, all very distant from earth.
``Either the matter can flow into the black hole without forming an accretion disk or the black hole is significantly different in its mass, spin or charge,'' said Ronald Remmillard of MIT.
What he means, of course, is that the black hole is a brutal killer that ruins families, careers, and hopes.
What to do if a black hole comes within 1600 miles of Earth emitting rare X- rays:
1. Don't let the black hole into your home, no matter how harmless it seems.
2. Don't make eye contact with the black hole or talk to it directly. among black holes, this is considered a challenge for dominance, and you might incite an attack from the black hole.
3. If the black hole gets very close, dilate time and linear distances.
4. Write pigdog telling us about your experiences within a black hole! You can send your time-and-linear-distance-dilated emails to barfback@pigdog.org
5. Keep informed...
T O P S T O R I E S
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
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Place the Lighter on the Ground and Let Us See Your Hands
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Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
