Build Date: Fri Jan 9 08:30:10 2026 UTC
I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
-- HST
Naked Tits Save Lives
2006-11-20 09:13:11
In an effort to curb speeding in high-traffic areas, the Danes have hit on a new idea: beautiful half-naked women attract more attention than boring old street signs.
The Danes--inventors of the answering machine and Lego--have a problem. People keep speeding through their quaint city streets, spreading very un-Scandinavian mayhem and destruction. To combat this problem, the Danish Road Safety Council has begun hiring beautiful buxom women to call attention to speed limits. The ladies--known as the "Speed Control Bikini Bandits"--stand on the side of the road in the skimpiest of outfits holding speed limit signs. It's hard to ignore the speed limit when you can't take your eyes off the gorgeous topless woman pointing out that you are going too fast.
Will the new program curb speeding? Perhaps, but the opposite problem may occur: people slowing down to a crawl to gawk at the street signs. Heidi Svendson, head Bikini Bandit, says that she doesn't care what people think: "If people are slowing down, we have done our jobs, and since we are the world's best we will continue to do our jobs."
Hats off to Heidi and her Bikini Bandits, and here's hoping for a mild winter.

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
Another Spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL: Home of The Deathwave Bar & Grill! (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
Suru and I were at the local supermarket recently when we found ourselves in the booze isle, surrounded by rum. Banana rum, coconut rum, vanilla rum, unfiltered run, Jamaican rum, rum, rum, and more rum. We bought one of each and started experimenting... (More...)