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Bra-flashing teacher inspires her students
2001-05-06 00:06:55


The Nekkid Truth
 
I hate things I can fuck up.
-- Negative Nancy

 

A teacher flashed her bra in front of a high school classoom. After the school fired her, she took off her shirt and "waved it in protest as she drove out the school parking lot." But wait! There's more...

Right now you're thinking "topless teacher" and wondering what thought process leads a woman to this outburst of free-spirited retribution. A substitute teacher is lecturing a bunch of high school students, one of whom calls her class boring. "What? My class is not boring!" you imagine her saying. "Feast your eyes upon my lingerie-clad bosom!"

But wait -- it's a sports bra. Okay, that's still kind of a weird way to get a kid's attention, but the teacher was thinking of it as more of an under shirt. The real problem was this was a Catholic high school. The story got told and re-told throughout repressive conservative classrooms, and eventually the Archdiocese of Los Angeles handed down an official pronouncement that bra-flashing -- even sports bra flashing -- interfered with the school's important work of instilling guilt.

Yet some rebellious spirit preserves the legend of the topless teacher. Suddenly the school is fielding calls from both Inside Edition and CNN, while the teacher entertains queries from from Playboy, Good Morning America, and CBS. Is a Britney Spears-style exercise bra really a job-terminating infraction, the media asks? Besides, goes the undeclared subtext -- we think bra flashing is cool.

And so a sports bra becomes a bra -- because it's a better story that way. The heroine of a new urban legend stands in brassiere-clad defiance in a Catholic school's parking lot, and the Zeitgeist screams "You are not alone!" -- conjuring images of cheering on the high school teacher who finally doffed her shirt.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

gable@pigdog.org


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