Build Date: Wed May 21 18:50:21 2025 UTC
Can't we just admit we're ALL fuckheads with astoundingly stupid opinions from time to time?
-- Tjames Madison
Noelle Snatched Underwear?
2002-02-01 10:14:58
This time the Florida girl gone wild had apparently decided to knock over a Penney's, or at least snatch some underwear. In 1995 "Noell Bush" was caught, arrested, and sentenced to a $305 fine. The person arrested attended a boarding school where it's been confirmed that, yes, the governor's daughter was enrolled. "Noell" even has the same name and birthdate.
A paper in Flagstaff broke the news Thursday -- yet other news outlets won't touch it. Florida officials released her from jail because they thought she had a clean record. Now they're thinking she's going to need a bail bondsman. Why this vast journalistic conspiracy of silence? While the Florida judicial system processes the new information on yet-another Bush family scandal, the newspapers obligingly look away...
It's been said any whiff of scandal involving liberal politicians gets vetted and pumped up through a pipeline of conservative pundits -- but that there's no corresponding fluffers for Bush-bashing. Add aggressive stone-walling from the Bush family, and you get a press corp that's cowed into submission.
All signs suggest reporters should steel themselves for more controversy in the future. Noelle's release was part of a program to lessen jail crowding by not detaining any Bush daughters gone loco if it's their first offense. The obvious conclusion, of course, is that there's more to come.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Ah, it's that special time of year again. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose, crowded, dangerous streets filled with maniac shoppers rushing to the mall to buy Pokemon action figures, and getting hammered at the Xmas party and insulting the boss's hair weave. That's right: it's time to drink heavily and wait out life's little nagging miseries, holiday variety. Pigdog is here to help. (More...)
I mixed up this concoction a few weeks ago and can't get it out of my mind. It's green and sweet and delicious and looks great in a clear sports bottle, which won't spill when you pass out on the lawn after drinking the entire bottle through a Crazystraw. (More...)
First in a regular series! The Pigdog Journal Spocktail of the Week features recipes for EXCITING and DELICIOUS potions and tonics for your quaffing pleasure! Gulp down a whole lot TODAY! (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)