Build Date: Tue Sep 29 03:21:40 2026 UTC
Damn right we live in a dangerous society. Who would want it otherwise?
-- enigma
Noelle Snatched Underwear?
2002-02-01 10:14:58
This time the Florida girl gone wild had apparently decided to knock over a Penney's, or at least snatch some underwear. In 1995 "Noell Bush" was caught, arrested, and sentenced to a $305 fine. The person arrested attended a boarding school where it's been confirmed that, yes, the governor's daughter was enrolled. "Noell" even has the same name and birthdate.
A paper in Flagstaff broke the news Thursday -- yet other news outlets won't touch it. Florida officials released her from jail because they thought she had a clean record. Now they're thinking she's going to need a bail bondsman. Why this vast journalistic conspiracy of silence? While the Florida judicial system processes the new information on yet-another Bush family scandal, the newspapers obligingly look away...
It's been said any whiff of scandal involving liberal politicians gets vetted and pumped up through a pipeline of conservative pundits -- but that there's no corresponding fluffers for Bush-bashing. Add aggressive stone-walling from the Bush family, and you get a press corp that's cowed into submission.
All signs suggest reporters should steel themselves for more controversy in the future. Noelle's release was part of a program to lessen jail crowding by not detaining any Bush daughters gone loco if it's their first offense. The obvious conclusion, of course, is that there's more to come.
T O P S T O R I E S
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America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
It was the night of the Leonid meteor showers -- the perfect opportunity to break out the evil opaline liquor, get madder than hatters, and test wireless ethernet hardware... Would the plunging meteorites interfere with the 2.4GHz band? What about our delicate brain waves? (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
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This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
The quest for knowledge never ends at the super top secret Spock Mountain Laboratory, although it is frequently interrupted by beverage breaks. Recently, a team of crack ethnomixologists returned from a dangerous expedition to the frozen expanse of Canada with the much sought recipe for a Spocktail that is destined to replace blunt force head trauma as the major cause of brain damage in the civilized world. (More...)
One of our star reporters was sent to Comdex by his employer. El Destino reports live from the biggest, geekiest trade show in the world. (More...)
