Jenna's Sordid L.A. Summer
2001-08-19 05:57:20

Bush Family Hijinx
Hehe. RTFM, baby
-- Crackmonkey


Liquor, brawls, and -- more liquor! The National Enquirer reports on "the latest booze-fueled high jinks for the daughters of President Bush."

Jenna Bush was recently sighted guzzling wine and Bloody Mary's, according to the paper. Though she's below the legal drinking age, that apparently hasn't stopped the Presidential daughter's crazed adolescent binges. Jenna drinks and drinks, whether it's a rowdy Hollywood nightclub or an expensive hotel in La Jolla. ("The barman was bringing them drink after drink," a source tells the Enquirer.) Just remember: when you and I were 19, we didn't get to swill our alcohol behind a phalanx of Secret Service men...

Under a headline touting "Another Wild Party Week," the Enquirer picks over the details of Jenna's fast-lane summer. Days after enjoying wine on the sidewalks of La Jolla, she was off for yet-another drunken Hollywood party -- this time with lesbian twin sister Barbara.* Now both underaged Bush daughters swallowed forbidden libations -- before watching a fistfight. The Enquirer reports that as Snoop Doggy Dogg took to the stage, ten men ended up in a drunken brawl. ** "Security guys were jumping in. Punches and kicks were thrown..."

Gluttony? Mayhem? Are these the rowdiest Presidential offspring or what! The First even reports a rumor that Jenna will be attending this year's Burning Man festival -- and links to a Yahoo message board report that a member of the indie band Zit Remedy has been wooing Barbara "with passionate postcards and provocative bedroomwear."

It's going to be an interesting four years...

* Lesbian rumor not confirmed.
** Brawl presumed to be drunken

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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