Yay Segfault.org GAR GAR GAR Whoopee HOORAY!


George's Wild Daughter
2001-03-07 22:22:29

Bush Family Hijinx
All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
-- Homer Simpson


"Get ready, America! Here comes George W's wild daughter." Newspapers nationwide are running stories about the drunken antics of the President's daughter.

"Pals say she's a hard-drinking party animal," reads the caption on a National Enquirer photo of a drunken Jenna Bush stumbling onto another woman at a frat party. "Oops, she did it again," the paper adds.

But it's not just the Enquirer covering the drunken Mardi Gras party, which was ultimately raided by Texas police. Jenna Bush was photographed with another student later arrested for public intoxication. The New York Times ran an Associated Press story citing jail-keepers who say Jenna Bush called asking when he'd be released, and the Dallas News adds that photos of Jenna Bush at the frat party mysteriously disappered from an official web site.

The Enquirer reports Jenna Bush has a reputation "as a wild party girl." "I've seen her three times in bars and she's never looked sober," one fellow student told the paper. The tabloid even tells the story of how Jenna agreed to model dresses for a charity fashion show, but "Unfortunately, she got a little smashed." Their conclusion? "One of the toughest domestic issues George W. Bush faces in the next few years is how to control his hard-drinking daughter."

Jenna's mother, Laura Bush, once ran a stop sign and killed another Texas driver, according to the watchdogs at Bush Watch. Now if you're interested in keeping an eye on W's hard-drinking daughter, the site's gossip page offers ongoing coverage....

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.


comments powered by Disqus


C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

Escape to Spock Mountain!
by Baron Earl

Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
by El Snatcher & Ms. BunnyPenny

Put the "Life" Back in SF "Nightlife"
by Flesh

Please Continue...
by Baron Earl


Master Squid

Man killed by crossbow in Germany led 'medieval cult'


El Destino

Crazy bitcoin-trading "seasteader" forced to run by the Thai government



Alex Jones Admits To Being Psychotic.



Alex Jones Throws Temper Tantrum After Being Laughed At.



So what's the time? It's time to get ill! Alex Jones Smokes Some Kind. Gets Really Paranoid


El Destino

The Las Vegas Strip now has robot bartenders


Poindexter Fortran

University of California special collections: now with more Hunter S. Thompson


Baron Earl

Amazing hand-stitched scenes from DUNE


Baron Earl

Contributions to Top Dark Money Spenders


Baron Earl

CES claims dildo is not a robot

More Quickies...