Build Date: Mon Apr 13 01:50:18 2026 UTC
Is the tech economy down because we're all fucking around on the Internet during work hours, or are we fucking around on the Internet during work hours because the tech economy is down? This is one of those chicken/egg questions that keeps me up at night.
-- Master Squid
Destruction Makes Me Horny
2001-09-25 22:59:58
Hello, my name is Miss Conduct and I've been very, very bad. A terribly sick and disturbed part of me gets really excited when skyscrapers fall. It makes me feel dirty.
I bolted for the TV that fateful Tuesday afternoon. I had to see those buildings fall. I just HAD to. Usually I am relegated to enjoying a highly controlled razing. Like when the Dunes Hotel was blown up in Vegas. I could not peel myself away from the hot explosive action. This is the same part of me that loved watching the Death Star blow up. It's the same part of me that is thrilled by Matrix, Kung Fu movies and video games. Only in this case it's REAL. It has life, texture, aroma and a prevalent element of the unknown. Yeah, I know it's bad. But isn't bad what it's all about? It is the place where new thoughts and ideas are born. Bad is the leading edge.
There is a maybe not-so-sick layer to my fetish. Life is a creation/destruction wheel of fortune. This is the fulcrum of the creative process. Death is inevitable. The ego dies for the spirit, the forest needs fire to propagate, the Phoenix rises from its ashes. Destruction makes me shiver with excitement for the unknown. It makes my inner revolutionary jump and shout for joy. Destruction brings people together. And unity is sexy.
As the structural remains succumbed to gravity, I hoped this was the beginning of a commerce-free whirled. Where is my replicator?
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
Our man Daemon Agent checks out the heavy heavy sounds of crazy space surf rockers Man or Astroman?. (More...)
