Build Date: Thu Nov 12 20:10:59 2026 UTC
Blackhawks are just big, dumb troop carriers, like flying AC Transit buses.
-- Tjames Madison
Smile! You're on Fascist Camera
2000-11-03 12:16:39
Wow! I've been all around this great big world, and I've seen all kinds of girls. But that's neither here nor there. What's up with SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS, man?
So, there are like KAJILLIONS of cameras all over this country, all over every city. Go out to the street or to a square or park -- and look around. There's probably 2 or 3 on you right now. Up in the corners of buildings, on the edges of ATMs. In the little nook behind the bus driver's seat. All over the subway or MUNI station. In your work, at schools, in the mall. LOTS OF FUCKING CAMERAS.
Now, most of these are watched by bored and fat security guards, although I once played this pr0n CD-ROM game where there was this hot, sexy security guard who would use the surveillance cameras to watch folks get freaky. Like, if you picked the right scenes to make her excited, she would take off more of her clothes. Or something like that. But in general, it's bored and fat security guards, with like a microscopic smattering of horny porn stars.
The weird thing about the Web is that, with Web cams, we're becoming a NATION of bored, fat security guards, watching other bored fat security guards watch each other on the Web. It's creepy, man. Is this the fantasy future we wanted to make happen? What happened to the laser pistols and the big genetically-altered elephant cyber-beasts? What's with being the WALGREEN'S RENT-A-COP? I missed that issue of Amazing Tales, I guess.
Anyways, these folks in New York City decided that it's just a little weird to be on the OTHER side of the camera. Being watch, being photographed, being recorded. All the fucking time, like when you scratch your ass on the subway platform when you think nobody's looking. Because SOMEBODY'S LOOKING! So they decided that if they were going to be on TV all the time, they better start looking good.
And they founded the Surveillance Camera Players (note that it's not "security camera" -- I like that. Use your language well, folks). They do PLAYS in front of the cameras, like Pere Ubu and 1984. They do all kinds of crazy shit! It's great! They even do stuff for Web cams on Times Square and some shit.
OK, but, all well and good. Check out the SCP Web site, and if you live in New York City, go check out their walking tours, pointing out the security cams and possibly doing some FUN CRAZYNESS. Beaujolais to the SCP!
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
Hooray! At long last, a NEW Spocktail of the Week! Kid-tested, mother-approved! (More...)
This was an old standby back in my poor college days. Back then the goal was to get butt fucking wasted for as little money as possible. The problem was we hated dirt cheap beer - and some weekends, even Henry's was far more lucre then we could scratch together. So we invented Red. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
Experimenter is a film released in 2015 starring Peter Sarsgaard. It tells the story of Dr. Stanley Milgram's life, including the infamous Milgram electric shock experiment, tests on crowds, and his work developing a theory on the mechanics of social networks. It currently streams on Netflix. (More...)
