Have you heard about the Haunted Painting? It appeared in a
listing on eBay one day and everybody who saw it listed there
had to go tell some folks, "Hey, did you hear about the Haunted
Painting on eBay?" I am one of those people. Well, not really,
since I don't look at eBay, but somebody told me about it and
now I am really scared but I wish I had that painting.
It's a story about a family that finds a bargain painting in a junk shop. It's a
story in all caps and it's really hard to read: "WHEN WE RECEIVED THIS PAINTING,
WE THOUGHT IT WAS REALLY GOOD ART." These people get this painting and take it
home, and that's when the WEIRD STUFF starts to happen.
(It should be noted at this point that this painting REALLY IS QUITE ODD. You
won't find the images of it on eBay anymore, but somebody mirrored them here, so go look at them.
It's a picture of a weird boy and a ROBOT GIRL standing in front of a window,
and behind the window are dozens of disembodied hands. I must say, this scores
really highly on the tingly factor, even if it is total bullshit.)
"ONE MORNING OUR 4 AND 1/2 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER CLAIMED, THAT THE CHILDREN IN THE
PICTURE WERE FIGHTING, AND COMING INTO THE ROOM DURING THE NIGHT." So this woman
gets her husband to set up a "motion triggered camrea (sic)," and after
witnessing "THE BOY SEEMINGLY EXITING THE PAINTING UNDER THREAT, WE DECIDED, THE
PAINTING HAS TO GO."
So they took it to eBay so some other poor slob could get haunted. And some
freakshow THERE bought the thing for a thousand bucks.
Obviously, this is all stupid and fake (even if that painting is really fucking
creepy, man.) But I've been thinking about this some, and I've come to the
conclusion that this is probably just the tip of the iceberg on the "haunted
painting" phenomenon. In the months to come, hundreds of haunted paintings are
going to turn up on eBay, and they'll sell, because eBay has like an unlimited
supply of stupid people who buy everything. So I went and got some butcher
paper today and a big charcoal pen and I made up my own spooky painting (note MYSTERIOUS FIGURE seen in
doorway behind foreground person... and is that person in the front
actually coming OUT OF THE PAINTING? HMMMMMMM?.) I'm going to list it on eBay
with a $3,000 reserve price, but I'll let Pigdog readers take the first crack at
it. Come on. Bid on this sucker today.