TNiPNaZ Announcement Rules ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Just in case anybody wanted to read them, here's the officious rules for a TNiPNaZ announcement: 1) You have to make the announcement on pigdog-l. 2) You have to use DECLARATIVE SENTENCES in your announcement. "Does anyone want to go to the Lamrz Club? Huh?! Anyone?" is NOT a TNiPNaZ announcement. 3) You have to use an authoritative tone of voice. NOT "I'm thinking it might be a good idea to go to the Lamrz Club. If anyone else thinks they might want to go, I could possibly go there maybe." Instead, try, "THIS THURSDAY! WE! WILL! HAVE! TNiPNaLC at the Lamrz Club!!!!" 4) ASCII art is mandatory. No ASCII art, no announcement. Your ASCII art can be as small as a single anus -> * if you identify it as ASCII art. 5) Announcements for cyber, non-existent or just plain silly locations are ignored. For example, "Thursday Night is Pigdog Night on EFNet!" "Thursday Night is Pigdog Night in Methven!" "Thursday Night is Pigdog Night in My Ass!" 6) The first conforming announcement to the list for a given date is authoritative (tie goes to the runner). 7) Announcements for perfectly reasonable but non-Bay Area locations are fine, but they don't preclude a local Bay Area announcement. 8) If you announce it, you have to show up. ---8<--- Here are some out-of-my-ass non-normative guidelines for good places to go for TNiPNa_. These are non-binding and it's totally LEGAL to call it for a place that's not conforming. However, expect to be bitched out by our crack team of Pigdog Complainers. Section A: Bars * Guinness, on tap, in pitchers. * Availability of multiple non-Guinness beverages with various levels of alcohol toxicity. Examples: Ketel One martinis, hard cider, Splicey ginger beer. Points for selection and creativity. * Reasonable prices. * Large tables conducive to conviviality and vigorous discussion. * Space for 2-30 attendees. * Accessible by car and public transportation. * Low environmental volume level. We prefer to be the annoyance rather than the annoyed. * High staff tolerance for fire, overturned furniture, spilled beer and peanut shells. Section B: Non-bars * Entertainment of some sort that will be enjoyable by a plurality of typical TNiPNa_ attendees. Examples: robots, fire, robots on fire, movies about Spock or other unsung geniuses. * Space for 2-30 attendees. * Proximity to a bar meeting the guidelines for Section A. Here are some style guidelines for making your announcement. Again, none are legally binding. However, I've found that announcements that meet these guidelines tend to garner better attendance than minimally conforming (level 1) announcements. * Use the prefix "ANNOUNCEMENT:" in the subject line. * Use original and non-trivial ASCII art. * Go shithouse crazy with the exclamation points. Try just holding down the Shift+1 key for a count of ten, then go back and fill in text between the punctuation. * Extoll the virtues of the destination in question. Be liberal with the truth. Remember, you're not selling a TNiPNa_ event, you're selling a DREAM. * Experiment with "themed" announcements. Examples: circus announcement, town crier announcement, Dutch hacker announcement, Swedish chef announcement, pirate announcement. * Refer to current threads on PDJ or pigdog-l. * Mention people by name. For some reason, people feel obligated to show up if they are pseudo-scheduled ahead of time. * The "Bring a pig and a dog..." closing line gets em every time.