Burn them ALL! ALL of THEM!

     

 

 

I hate to be a one issue voter, but the first candidate that promises public booze fountains gets my vote.
-- Johnnie Royale

 

 

Two months later and she's still with him...

By El Destino
Pigdog Staff Writer

"Two months later and she's still with him."

Despite the lack of new information about Kim Rollins, OmniGroup President and Founder Wil Shipley posted his 47th essay since November 15 documenting his recovery from the end of their nine-year relationship.

But some readers aren't satisfied with Shipley's side of the story...

Pigdog records indicate in just the last ten days, at least thirty Search Engine searches have been conducted on the phrase "Kim Rollins" -- including 16 through AltaVista.† One Chicago woman told Pigdog her husband had been following Ms. Rollins' site for several years, and initiated a search "hoping to find a Rollins rebuttal."† Another reader tells the same story, reporting they'd scoured search engine results, seeking "another side to this rant."

Kim's followers are enthusiastic.† "I tended to think of Kim's site as something of a benchmark," one reader told Baltimore reporter Joab Jackson -- "a site by which all others could be measured."

"She was even nominated to the invitation-only Archipelago Web Ring of journal writers," Jackson wrote in December -- praising Ms. Rollins' "witty, acerbic writing."

In fact, memories of Kim's site overshadowed an announcement from Shipley's company.† As source code was released for four software programs, reminiscences invaded a bulletin board at the high-profile Slashdot site.† "One thing I suddenly recalled about Omnigroup is they were the employer of Kim Rollins," posted Bob Drzyzgula, "who was the source of a somehow-pleasing and once-famous hoax entitled Plea From a Sick Little Girl."

Even Wil Shipley grapples with his temptation to call Kim -- and details his rationalizations.† "I'll just talk about neutral things. Cats. People we know. How much I miss making love to her."

Kim's departure from Shipley's life -- and the company where he worked -- has changed many things.† For instance, Shipley's co-workers no longer feel shy about opening his office door, Shipley reports in an on-line essay.† "Before, everyone realized they did this at their own peril, so they'd knock first, often being rewarded with a muffled 'Oh, shit... (scrabble)... Just a minute!' "

Shipley reports he also concealed a photograph of Ms. Rollins in a program he wrote for Apple's OS X operating system.

One source reports they've corresponded with Rollins in December -- but refused to provide details.† Until Ms. Rollins reappears, readers must content themselves with Shipley's ongoing reports from his life without Kim.

  • "Hair is still greasy from not showering. When it's only a half inch long, the grease doesn't have much of a chance to spread out."
  • "My Zoloft-enhanced bad driving continues to worsen."
  • "Some kind and anonymous soul went out and bought me one of those day-at-a-time pill cases and left it on my desk."

Even the simple act of sleeping can be complicated.† "I still wake up and find myself soaked in cold sweat almost every night," Shipley writes, "but luckily the bed is really big so I just switch sides rather than try to sleep on the drenched sheets."†

Shipley also reports he recently had a nightmare.† "In this universe she had dumped me, but not for another guy.

"Just because she was tired of me."

 

 

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

nvious@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

T O P   S T O R I E S

Eavesdropping on Geeks: 'Star Trek: Discovery' vs 'The Orville'
by Thom 'Starky' Stark, Lenny Tuberose, 'Tricky' Rick Moen, Destino

The One Trump Conspiracy That Will Explain Everything
by El Destino

No, Google Isn't Using Grand Theft Auto To Train Self-Driving Cars
by El Destino

Amazon's 'Dash' Button For Doritos Panned By Potheads
by El Destino

10-09

El Destino

Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"

07-05

El Destino

Whatever happened to JenniCam's Jennifer Ringley?

05-03

El Destino

Iíve Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth

05-03

Baron Earl

Fyre Fest Lawsuit

05-03

Baron Earl

US Government uses drones to shoot M&Ms at endangered ferrets

05-03

Baron Earl

When will the abuse of airline passengers stop?

05-03

El Destino

Hillbilly miner turned coder wants to make Kentucky into "Silicon Holler"

03-31

El Destino

86-year-old William Shatner cast in a new romantic comedy: 'Senior Moment'

03-19

El Destino

New ransomware taunts its victims with ASCII art of Spock and Kirk

01-26

Flesh

Alex Jones is Big, Fat, And Drunk in Public.

08-01

El Destino

Amazon's secret: incest in the Kindle ad?

08-01

El Destino

Slut Walk! Sexy feminist protest, or invaders from Mars?

04-25

Daemon Agent

The Quest for the Best Cheap Beer in a Can

04-25

Eugene Leitl

Beverage science at its finest

04-16

El Destino

YouTube punishes copyright offenders with animated pirate cat

04-09

Baron Earl

Poll shows that almost half of Mississippi's Republicans think interracial marriage should be illegal

04-07

Baron Earl

Commodore64 redux - now with Linux

04-06

El Destino

George Takei demonstrates why he should be playing Spider-Man

04-01

El Destino

High school students sacrifice chickens to improve their batting average

03-31

Baron Earl

Creating a wall-hangable computer from an Ikea shadow box frame

More Quickies...