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I really shouldn't have gone to the game as I had so much work to do around the house, but it was nice to actually see the sun - it is yellow you know.
-- Johnnie Royale

 

WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS (cont'd)
2000-02-20 01:35:00

Tjames
Tjames
OK. So what's next for Jerkcity? When's the TV show gonna happen?
But, the point is that THAT IS WHERE I MET THESE FAGS AND THEY WON'T LET ME ALONE Rands
Rands
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Umm, fuck. So, what's next for Jerk City? Any ideas on the back burner?
Tjames
Tjames
I beat you!
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
You BASTARD! That's my question!
Arkuat
Arkuat
the custom is to say "jinx"
Arkuat
Arkuat
who ever says jinx first, wins.
Tjames
Tjames
I beat you, jinx!
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Yeah, for CHILDREN, that is appropriate.
Arkuat
Arkuat
also for irc.
Pants always has crazy ideas for the strip... I'LL PROBABLY DO A NEW LAYOUT TO ACCOUNT FOR ALL THE NEW FEATURES like the mailinglist and STUFF Rands
Rands
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Anyways, let's try to conduct arselves as professional journalists, eh?
Enigma
Enigma
Next question: Who are the people in the pictures on the "Ask Jerkcity" page? Known sex offenders?
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Oh, heh, a new HTML layout, that's groundbreaking.
PLUS FREE PORN Rands
Rands
Tjames
Tjames
Will this be a real mailinglist, or one where you just yell at people?
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Oooh, sorry, that was supposed ot be a private message.
It's real.. . Rands
Rands
Enigma
Enigma
Those are actual pics of the letter writers?
Tjames
Tjames
Will you take things said on the mailinglist and put them in the strip?
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
I think you should do a shockwave version, with MIDI music in the background to set the mood.
http://www.jerkcity.com/mailinglist.html Rands
Rands
tjames: Good idea. Possibly. Rands
Rands
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Like, wakachikawakachika porn music.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Sorry, shutting up now.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
<insert pants response here>
Tjames
Tjames
We have this Pigdog mailing list that has NOTHING to do with Pigdog. It's great.
I have no idea what people are going to do with jerkfans.... Rands
Rands
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
I like how you have an XML version of the site.
Arkuat
Arkuat
uh, when did the website become the entirety of pigdog? there's tnipnaz too. and this joint.
But if it's anything like listening to #jerkcity, it'll PROBABLY INVOLVE HEAPING PILES OF DONGS, ETC. Rands
Rands
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Does anyone use that XML for anything useful at all?
Good question for Pants... apparently, he removed it at one point and PEOPLE GOT UPSET Rands
Rands
Arkuat
Arkuat
matthew bender used it internally as part of a persistent-object class development system while i was working there
Arkuat
Arkuat
xml, that is
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Are you ever afraid you're going to wake up one morning and the words "Dong", "Prick", and "Cock" won't be funny any more?
Can you honestly say that the word "DONG" or "BONER" will ever not be funny? Rands
Rands
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Well, like, if you say it over and over again, it just turns into a weird Zen chant.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
BONERBONERBONERBONERBONERBONERBONERBONERBONER
SUDDENLY GAY ER Rands
Rands
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
OK, but I guess I see your point.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Hey, anybody wanna pipe up here or something?

Weird network silence hits IRC. Tjames disappears almost completely.

Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Like, maybe some witty repartee and shit?
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Fucking everyone talks over each other and then there's fuckall.
Last few questions, I gotta BATTLE THE COMMUTE IN THE MORNING Rands
Rands
Arkuat
Arkuat
well, i'm trying not to interrupt the interview too much, because i haven't been following jerkcity lately, so every time i pipe up, i feel like a schmuck for coming unprepared to the interview
LOSER Rands
Rands
Arkuat
Arkuat
right.
:) Rands
Rands
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Not to mention that you didn't even KNOW there was an interview.
STRIKE #2 Rands
Rands
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Hey, so, one more question: why so worried about your privacy and shit?
Arkuat
Arkuat
i'll have to administer a beating to my social secretary.
Enigma
Enigma
Can I watch?
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Like, we had to go through more machinations than a BASQUE SEPARATIST to get this interview going.
Well, jerkcity content can be rather racy and WELL I HAVE TO BE ABLE TO LOOK PEOPLE IN THE FACE THAT I WORK WITH Rands
Rands
I showed jerkcity to a few co-workers and some totally get it and others stop talking to me Rands
Rands
Arkuat
Arkuat
more power to the anonymity brethren.

pumps a revolutinary fist in the air.

Arkuat
Arkuat
s/tin/tion/
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Yeah, well, ALSO, you blew me off for an in-person interview last week.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
!
I was in New Jersey.. so consider me punished. Rands
Rands
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
OK, that's fair. I couldn't punish you more than that.
Tjames
Tjames
Hey, my connection came back. Just in time for the wrap-up.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
But I am NOT YOUR BITCH.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
I just had to say that.
Enigma
Enigma
Ignore Mr. Bad, he sends out last minute invites and thinks he has commitment.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Hey, I was forced to sit in a bar in the Mission and drink lots of beer and Wild Turkey!
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Being a journalist is HAAAAAAAARRRRRRDD.
Enigma
Enigma
Poor you. Any new characters in the works?
Arkuat
Arkuat
gee, i wish i did that more often.
The chat room really isn't public.... I think guest appearances will occur, but SPIGOTDEUCERANDSANDPANTS will continue to dominate Rands
Rands
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Yeah, that is the core of the team, I guess.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Listen, I want to congratulate you for the amazing way you bring out something approximating emotion from those characters.
Arkuat
Arkuat
memepool uses #perl as kind of a parallel forum for people to toss out links asking if their memepoolable.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
I think you have, like, 8 faces to use?
Arkuat
Arkuat
s/their/they're/
Something like that. Rands
Rands
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
And you manage to make it look like there's really someone talking.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
It's kinda like puppetry, in a way.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
In a faggy, lame, arty way.
It's the content which makes Jerkcity -- any schmuck could've thought up using ComicChat, but if the content wasn't KICK ASS ... nobody would care Rands
Rands
Arkuat
Arkuat
don't malkovich out on us, mr. bad.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Sorry I said that.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Yeah, it's very good.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
So, we already talked about Leisuretown and Jim something something, but what else do you read on the Web, or off?
Uhhhh.... TheOnion... hurrrrrrrrrrr... what else... Rands
Rands
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
LAME
My web browsing habits are rather lame... Rands
Rands
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
You could kiss our ass and say you read Pigdog Journal all the time.
It's mostly newsy stuff. AND I'VE ONLY RECENTLY STARTED BROWSING PIGDOG Rands
Rands
Arkuat
Arkuat
or even better, you could tell us about something cool that none of us has ever heard of before.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
But, fuck, we're interviewing YOU, so we're in the buttocks-smooching position.
I have a feeling y'all have a better map of the web. Rands
Rands
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Hey, so, you know how in like _Details_ magazine they always ask these total IDIOTS that they interview about current events and shit?
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Well, I'm not going to do that, even though I'm running out of ideas, because I totally failed to prepare.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
OK, but what do you read off-line?
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Or watch or porn off to or whatever.
Arkuat
Arkuat
yeah, what is your favorite porn.
Arkuat
Arkuat
or you said you don't like that stuff?
Hmmm... porn. Rands
Rands
I used to dig on www.pornopolis.com (AND IF YOU LOOK CAREFULLY AT IT YOU'LL KNOW WHY) Rands
Rands
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Oh, hey: rands.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Name comes from: what?
But, my life is more interesting than porn these days Rands
Rands
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Wow! it is?
Arkuat
Arkuat
is that publishable or should we try to avoid "slashdotting" it?
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Do you meet lots of bisexual sluts and stuff who want to have sex with you on your motorcycle?
Name is a byproduct of an exgirlfriend Rands
Rands
I'll say no more Rands
Rands
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Heh heh. It's probably some term for LABIA
COULD BEHGUHGUHUHIDFHGUFHUH G Rands
Rands
Arkuat
Arkuat
i think this person needs to take nightly ablutions to prepare for the morning commute
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Shit, I'm worried that tjames fell off of the internet.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
TJAMES! Come back!
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Fuck.
Arkuat
Arkuat
*** CTCP PING reply from tjames: 1 seconds
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
So, uh, rands, any parting words and shit?
STAY WAY GAY Rands
Rands
Arkuat
Arkuat
he's probably investigating the plumbing.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Inspirational shit for growing youngsters.
STAY WAY GAY (STILL) Rands
Rands
Enigma
Enigma
Way
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Bitchen! Muchas gracias for the interview.
PANTS WILL BE FUNNIER THAN ME. Rands
Rands
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
OK, well, maybe we'll bust his ass.
No problem. GOOD TO EXPRESS MYSELF IN A NON-HGUHGUHGUHGUHG PLEASE GET OFF MEHGUHGUGHUGHGUH THIS IS HUGE HGUEHUSDJFDGJGFJFDG Rands
Rands
Arkuat
Arkuat
yes, danke fer thee interview.
Night all. Come visit #jerkcity some time. Rands
Rands
Enigma
Enigma
g'night
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
OK, you got it!
Arkuat
Arkuat
cool.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Yippie and shit.
Enigma
Enigma
Goodnight Mr. Bad
Enigma
Enigma
Goodnight Arkuat
Enigma
Enigma
Goodnight TJames
Arkuat
Arkuat
goodnight [Enigma]
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
OK, later, [Enigma]!
Enigma
Enigma
Goodnight _rands_

Pao Tzu enters the IRC channel.

Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Hey, pao, what up!?
Arkuat
Arkuat
goodnight _rands_
Arkuat
Arkuat
good night john boy
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Sorry we took over the channel, but we had to interview this stuck up guy from Jerk City.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Fucking ASSSSS.
Pao Tzu
Pao Tzu
oh
Arkuat
Arkuat
greetings pao tzu li erh yang.
Pao Tzu
Pao Tzu
I'm on like three networks
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Oh, wait, he hasn't left yet.
Pao Tzu
Pao Tzu
I have no idea what is going on
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
:-) <- Heh heh
Arkuat
Arkuat
remember solex vs. the pigdog, paotzu?
Arkuat
Arkuat
oh, and happy year of the dragon.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Hey, tjames! Quit being a twat and come say that you're still alive.
Arkuat
Arkuat
i just moved to oakland chinatown and it's been constant firecrackers going off all weekend.
Mr. Bad
Mr. Bad
Man, I hope that guy didn't think I was serious and shit.

 

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

furry@pigdog.org


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