Build Date: Mon Jun 5 01:40:20 2023 UTC
Disneyland is like an airport: a fascist subdomain of the general ecosphere.
-- Mr. Bad
What's Your Debian Package Name?
2002-5-26 19:30:11
Hey, so, we all know and love that beautiful and successful Linux distribution, Debian GNU/Linux, right? The new Debian 3.0 (woody) is coming out Real Soon Now, and it's going to feature over NINE THOUSAND software packages. That's a lot of software!
And I know a lot of people out there are like me. We look at all those packages, line after line in dselect, and we think, "Geez, I wonder what my name would be, if I were a Free Software package and someone made me part of Debian?" Well, WONDER NO MORE! Because we have the ANSWER!
Here's how it works: you enter your name (birth name, IRC nick, pet name, doesn't matter) in the form below. Then, hit the SUPER FANCY DEBIANIZING BUTTON, and you will find out! What your name would be! If you were a Debian package! Beaujolais!
T O P S T O R I E S
Goddamn Toothpaste Marketing Department Fuckwads
I like the flavor of peppermint, tolerate spearmint, and absolutely hate wintergreen. So why can’t toothpaste companies label their products so I know which of those three very different mint flavors they’re putting in the tube? (More...)
3D-printed Cheesecake Squirts from Tubes
This week engineers at Columbia University unveiled the world's nastiest-looking cheesecake. The engineers were very proud of their creation which used 3D-printing to squirt layers of goo into an approximately triangular shape that looks like something you will never willingly put into your mouth. (More...)
German Brewery Creates Powdered Swill
German brewery Klosterbrauerei Neuzelle has developed what it's calling "powdered beer". Add the powder to a glass of water and you get a glass of what looks and smells like beer. What they're not telling people are the serious downsides of their new beverage, drawbacks that offend the palate and sensibilities of beer drinkers everywhere. What they've invented is swill. (More...)
ISO-3533:2021 is a requirements document from the International Standards Organization that defines the design and safety requirements for products in direct contact with genitalia, the anus, or both. (More...)
Every Parent's Worst Nightmare
"What do you do when your bright, loveable [sic], talented kid turns into a punker overnight? The Nelsons are about to find out." promises the tag line from The Day My Kid Went Punk, an ABC Afterschool Special from 1987. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
Patient Joab and his evil cohort, Patient Steve, develop a proposal for the plastic-v.-paper problem that EVERYONE can be happy with. An EXCLUSIVE from Spock Mountain Research Labs! (More...)
One of our star reporters was sent to Comdex by his employer. El Destino reports live from the biggest, geekiest trade show in the world. (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
Another Spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL: Home of The Deathwave Bar & Grill! (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)