Build Date: Wed Jul 2 18:50:41 2025 UTC
If I ever need to get rescued by a group of toddlers and a man with a yellow purse whose only extraction plan is to quickly eat Tootsie Rolls, just let me explode with the god damn plane.
-- Sean Baby
The World of Sport
Bad People at Play
Pigdog Journal Articles
2021-06-13
NBC's production of the Ultimate Slip 'N Slide TV show had to be shut down this week after approximately 40 crew and cast members fell violently ill with "awful explosive diarrhea."
2002-02-12
One might think that in time of national war the cream of America's youth, her most hale and hearty corn-fed offspring, would be giving every minute of their day to fight Osamur bin Laden and his demonous Al-Qaedur network wherever they were needed. One would be, in fact, wrong: America's finest are thousands of miles away from the front, playing children's games in the snow for the entertainment of humorless Mormons. How could this have happened? Have the terrorists already won?
2002-01-28
In case the bludgeoning overflow of advertisement hasn't tipped you off, the Harlem Globetrotters are on tour right now. THE UNFORGETTABLE TOUR, which is like THE INVISIBLE MAN or THE PURLOINED LETTER, except that it isn't 19th century genre fiction. But did you know about the special connection between Pigdog and the Harlem Globetrotters?
2000-12-19
Yeah, I know, the XFL stories are running fast and loose all over the mainstream media and they're really getting kind of boring. Everybody thinks the XFL is just haw-haw-haw hilarious, and it's not. But I still feel a warmness in my heart for the home team San Francisco Demons.
2000-10-16
Now, old Johnnie isn't a big sports fan anymore. I used to be until all the major sport leagues went on strike and the salaries went through the roof.
2000-10-02
Holy crap! It's happening again! The A's just clinched the American League West title yesterday, and the Giants have the National League West already sewn up. So that means both teams are in pennant races, which means POTENTIAL DISASTER!
1999-12-01
Australia - traditionally a strong competitor for the UN's annual "It's a Man's Man's Man's Man's Man's Man's World" prize - has once again demonstrated the level of sensitivity and equality that make the remote island a prime spot for all-male drumming circles, "Iron John" fan club meetings and group rate wife beater conventions/getaway weekends.
1999-01-17
THIS is the result of too much bad crank in Cali! THIS is stuff Flesh probably used to do, FOR FREE, and NOT IN PUBLIC! THIS is where a leather dominatrix BITCH can be seen with the nWo's Scott Hall!
Offsite links shared by staff writers
2020-06-19
2001-01-11
2001-01-11
2000-10-29
2000-07-25
2000-01-09
The future is so cool! Check out this new Gravitron 2000 anti-gravity machine!
1999-08-08
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
You need to make a fruity tropical drink and you have no recipe? Here's a mix recently tested by Pigdog's crack bevertology team that's made with ingredients available from most any grocery store. It tastes sweet, fruity, and is perfect for guzzling on the last hot days of summer. (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
Another Spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL: Home of The Deathwave Bar & Grill! (More...)
