Build Date: Thu Dec 7 06:30:55 2023 UTC
My Finn side usually wins any arguments concerning alcohol.
-- Johnnie Royale
Treachery
Beware the black helicopters!
Pigdog Journal Articles
2003-08-08
So, I've been getting a lot of feedback from readers interested in the Mike Hawash case. Hawash ended up admitting that he wanted to go to Afghanistan and fight with the Taliban, as you can see over at www.freemikehawash.org.
2002-08-09
Through a system of soon-to-be installed receivers mounted on signs along freeways throughout the San Francisco Bay Area, the Fastrak system will soon be able to track individual cars, and could offer law enforcment officials the ability to track the whereabouts of known trouble-makers and other bad people of the future.
2002-08-01
Today it emerged that those DUMB BASTARDS in UK Parliament made another Blunder of Big Proportions! They went and bought the wrong vaccine for small pox!
2002-05-22
News for today: world becomes slightly obviously stranger, suspiciously a big fat fucking joke. I can't believe I've fallen for reality this long.
2002-01-09
Want to get some buddies together to take over the United States? Maybe as a secret club? Well, don't you try it in California buster! We've got laws precicely designed to expose your kind.
2001-12-22
A new portrait of dowdy old Queen Elizabeth II by controversial artist Lucian Freud (are there any non-controversial British artists?) has provoked a shitstorm of, predictably enough, controversy among British art snobs and royalty enthusiasts alike because it portrays the Queen as dowdy and old, with deep crevices and wrinkles and big puffy jowls and loose flubbery skin.
2001-12-18
Neil Young shocked a left-wing group called People for the American Way when he stated "... to protect freedom it seems that we're going to have to relinquish some of our freedoms for a short period of time."
2001-11-08
My fellow Americans. In this time of trial we must stand together, wary and vigilant, and we must respond with united strength to any who would violate our laws and attack the symbols of our greatness. I'm talking, of course, about all those yahoos who are treating the American flag like it's a goddamn car ornament or something. Ever hear of the Flag Code, jerkoffs? Well, it doesn't really matter, because ignorance of the law is no excuse.
2001-07-24
Maybe it's from playing Civ for too long, or maybe it's because I'm afraid of ghosts, but I believe that a reverence for the dead is the first cornerstone of a society. So, I must first say that Katherine Graham was ten times the person and ten thousand times the journalist that I am, and that the world is worse for her recent loss. Now, onto the troublemaking.
2001-06-09
What if you could put ad links on every single web page on the Internet? What if you could sell those links to other companies, creating links back to their sites so they could sell their products? Best of all, what if you didn't have to pay a single dime to any of the webmasters carrying your ads? That's what Microsoft can do with the new Smart Tags technology that they're building into Windows XP products.
2001-05-28
You can learn alot about World War II from movies. Apparently Hitler's number one enemy was Daffy Duck, whose efforts at collecting scrap iron were destablizing the Axis.
2000-10-27
So, you're gayer than an Easter parade, you like to drink, you live in San Francisco, and you're sick of the constant dumbing-down of the Most Wonderful City Ever Invented. What do you do? You got it: Guerrilla Queer Bar.
2000-08-07
Microsoft, not satified with the public whipping they just received from the Justice Department, has seized an opportunity to get even more bad press. In April 2000 Microsoft launched a web site called DigitalDiva.com, aimed at people who are too stupid to use computers and enjoy reading content on a web site that talks down to them. It didn't seem to matter that the name DigitalDiva.com was already in taken in 1997, was trademarked, and was actively used by a group of women who work with computers and the internet.
2000-07-24
Leaders of government, big business and even leading scientists go to The Wine Country to do freaky occult shenanigans that make the rituals of the average masonic lodge seem like a puppet show. Check out the recent video evidence!
2000-05-11
2000-04-14
Hey folks, have a stock you've been looking for? Want to get in on the stock market, but don't think you've got what it takes? Well, if you're thinking of getting in on stocks, get in now, because you won't want to miss this limited opportunity for BARGAIN BASEMENT PRICES on all stocks - including coveted HIGH-TECH STOCKS!
2000-04-14
It should come as no surprise to anyone. But in case you haven't heard the news, former Heavy Metal ass-kickers and current sellout kings, Metallica is suing Napster.
2000-03-31
Okay, so I know the "official" statement out of my birthplace is that there was a "tornado", but I have the "inside" scoop on the whole Ft. Worth "incident." My "sister" works in downtown Ft. Worth, and according to her, and a few other "unnamed sources," Godzilla got in a Tizzy Fit and destroyed downtown. As to why this happened, well, that's a long story...
2000-03-30
Just when you thought the witch-hunt tactics employed by Joseph McCarthy were an ugly thing of the past, W.A.V.E. wants to burn all deeply held true American values, and introduce values that only the SS would approve of.
2000-01-14
These guys are cool! Better life through Transcendental Meditation. Gotta problem with crack? Meditate, bro. Thinking about abortion? Enliven your unified field.
2000-01-11
The tale you are about to read will shock and horrify you. It is a story of a person intentionally running over another person with a two-ton Caddy, in cold blood, in front of dozen's of witnesses. The fact that this is a true story is bad enough. What will curdle your blood is that it gets far worse.
1999-12-16
Today marks the birth date of the late great Bill Hicks. Had he lived, he would have been 38. To mark this occasion Hicks' partner-in-crime, Kevin Booth has paid tribute to his fallen friend, with a broadcast of the set that made David Letterman cower in fear.
1999-12-13
If we believe the various panic groups, the world is a dangerous place to be in, and we need better protection. So dangerous, are these criminals that a system has been devised to catch criminals BEFORE they've actually committed any kind of criminal activity. Well, they now have. Welcome to the dawning of the age of thought crime.
1999-12-11
If you care about these things, you already know about www.lyrics.ch and what happened to it. If you don't care about these things, why are you reading this?
1999-12-02
Check it out! Weirdness and bizarre brainfucking from the WTO! Web devolution is the only solution! Freak out the squares! Beaujolais!
1999-11-24
So, the WTO is going to be meeting in Seattle from Nov 30 to Dec 3. And they're gonna get a FACEFUL of radicals and freaks screaming anti-New World Order propaganda and trying to break up Business As Usual. BEAUJOLAIS!
1999-11-17
Well, SHIT. I guess I can't go on thinking that Echelon is a myth anymore. Once the ACLU develops a watchdog organization, man, you just got to admit that the damn thing exists.
1999-11-05
Everyone who participated was in agreement. The cops, the promoters, the audience, and even the people arrested. Everyone, that is, with the exception of Nicole Weisensee or the Philadelphia Daily News. But hey, why should she let the truth get in the way of some creative writing?
1999-08-12
OK, so everybody knows that tadpoles aren't very cute. BUT, how cute are rare tadpoles that are stolen from a darling little country like Denmark? Pretty DAMN cute, I'd say.
1999-07-15
What the HELL is wrong with the pinheads who run San Francisco these days?
1999-07-12
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation.
1999-06-10
Frustrated by a recent failure on the part of most Americans to view them as anything but socially retarded, brow-sweating thugs, the Ku Klux Klan has undertaken a recruiting campaign in Great Britain, perhaps spurred on by new reports of British hate crimes against naked people.
1999-05-23
Star Wars characters are modern day representations of Egyptian gods? Anakin Skywalker actually Osiris? We should have suspected something masonic afoot when George Lucas started making movies like Raiders of of the Lost Ark, and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, with all that business about the Ark of the Covenant and the Holy Grail -- occult mythology deeply related to Freemasonry...
1999-04-24
Pigdog expresses sympathy to the families of the Little Town victims; Rabid Speculation at 11.
1999-03-24
You think the world will never get more absurd, and then it just does. In order to show the Serbians that violence isn't the way to solve problems, the US "and its NATO allies" have started a Cruise missile bombing campaign against Yugoslavia. MAJ deconstructs the sub-text in the Global Dysfunctional Family.
1999-02-17
It is widely believed that Microsoft has become the dominant force in desktop computing by the use of anti-competitive practices, such as product tying, dumping (e.g.: Internet Explorer), and strong-arming vendors. But what if the truth is something even darker...
1999-02-02
Who says shopping is only for Nancy Boys? CopMall has everything a man could want--all on one site. They have wine and cheese and guns and dogs, travel offers, restraint systems, even their own music label (Deputy: Music to Enforce By). They've got computer stuff (Searchable Offender Data Reference), books, and magazines.
1999-01-24
Welcome to Seattle Washington, land of Grunge, Starbucks Coffee, Microsoft and the Space Needle. At one time, it was known for individuality and personal responsibility. Not any more.
1998-12-30
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not really after you! In fact, many agencies that you never even HEARD OF are keeping detailed dossiers of your mundane life. And they're using S00PER SEKRIT high-tech to do it!
1998-12-18
Lacking access to genuine mouthpieces of power in Washington, we've had to resort to making up our own, fictional government spokespersons. We've posited our main questions about the current bombings in Iraq to our highly fictional foil; the illuminating conversation ensues.
1998-11-16
The Associated Press is reporting that to celebrate the turn of the millennium the Egyptian government is planning to replace the missing capstone of the Great Pyramid at Giza with a new GOLDEN CAPSTONE. But only for ONE NIGHT. Zahi Hawass, the powerful and well-known caretaker of the Giza Plateau monuments, is also proposing that the Great Pyramid be closed to the public FOREVER. Forever is a long time, and why go to all the trouble just to cap the Pyramid for one night? Could there be an ulterior motive?
1998-11-12
So the Freemasons are just an innocent group of friendly golfer types who get together to talk shop, and help each other in business. Sort of a "gentleman's club," if you will. Right? Then why is the British Government so WORRIED about Freemasons, and forcing the judges, police, and EVEN PRISON GUARDS to come clean about their involvement in the ancient society?! The BBC is reporting that the Masons have bowed to pressure to name names!
1998-11-11
The Washington Post reports that archive photo's that are supposed to be John F. Kennedy's brain are _not_. So, where is the actual brain? It's like a party game: "Find the missing brain, and win a visit from an M.I.B. of your very own."
1998-11-03
The Disease of the Week is: CONSPIRACY!!! So, Oliver Stone is gonna have a crazy made-for-TV movie about TWA Flight 800, which some people say was shot down by a missile over the Atlantic. The AP reports that the Feds are hopping mad at Stone for making the flick. Of course, you know, FACTS are so important that they should only be handled by experts... Check out the full story, eh?
Offsite links shared by staff writers
2003-03-23
2003-02-22
Goddamn Protesters! If you don't like this country, why don't you go back to Libraria?
2003-02-21
Goddamn protesters! If you don't like the way our country works, go back to Unitaria!
2002-06-20
2002-05-28
Have you seen the pair of secret images that become visible only by folding the new $20 Federal Reserve note a certain way?
2002-01-20
As part of the Bush Administration's ongoing efforts to obliterate all traces of terrorism in the United States, the Department of Justice has commenced registration of each and every American Patriot.
2002-01-03
Bill Clinton's dog dies in traffic; Police assure skeptical public that Fosteresque death was "strictly an accident." Uh-huh, suuuuuuuuuuuuure it was an accident.
2001-12-23
2001-01-27
2000-12-08
New Chemtrail Weblog, Chemtrail Central ('...Searching for Answers in the Chemtrail / Contrail Issue')
2000-10-08
2000-05-27
2000-05-05
2000-04-25
2000-04-25
Likes: big wheel, Batman. Dislikes: federal agents with guns.
2000-04-25
'Spook... is a distributed web based artwork which explores issues of surveillance, tracking and covert activity on the web in an interactive website based on the conventions of computer games.'
2000-01-26
1999-11-19
1999-11-12
'xechelon.org's purpose is to inform people of Echelon's existence and provide them tools and information with which they can loudly object to and thwart this pervasive government surveilance network.'
1999-08-24
1999-07-16
1999-07-08
1999-06-12
1999-05-30
This brilliant parody hack site makes fun of stupid George W. Bush. Haw haw! He's DUMB!
1999-05-30
1999-05-26
T O P S T O R I E S
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
Health and Human Services officials spend a year on pot
After a yearlong, comprehensive, thorough, complete investigation into the effects of marijuana usage, Health and Human Services (HHS) officials recommended that it be moved from Schedule I of the Controlled Substances Act to Schedule III, meaning that the HHS no longer considers cannabis to be a drug with high abuse potential and no medical value. (More...)
If you've ever wondered what actual bullshit looks like, just check the back side of Lee Meyers' decommissioned police cruiser. Lee chopped the top of the passenger side of the car off so he could take his full-grown Watusi bull, named Howdy Doody, for joy rides around his home town of Neligh, Nebraska. Since the car doesn't have bathroom facilities Howdy Doody just craps all over the back and side of the car whenever he feels the need to let one go. (More...)
Self-righteous assholes block highway to Burning Man
A group of self-righteous assholes converted exactly zero people to their cause by blocking the highway to Burning Man this week. The group, which used a flimsy trailer, some lengths of chain, and a few folding chairs to block the road, put up signs including "Burners of the World Unite," but none of the burners stopped in traffic wanted to unite with them for anything. (More...)
How much force does it take to pull out nose hair?
Have you ever pulled out a nose hair and felt like part of your brain came with it? Have your eyes watered from the extreme pain? Did you wonder how much force it took? Would you pull out 50 more hairs afterwards, using precise measuring instruments, to determine the answer IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE? (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
Hooray! At long last, a NEW Spocktail of the Week! Kid-tested, mother-approved! (More...)
40 Acres, a Mule, and a Crummy 90-Second Spot on Weekend Update
Consider the plight of the Black Man. The Black Man on "Saturday Night Live," I mean. Has there ever been a more pathetic thing than a token unredeemed for 28 years? Where is the NAACP when you really need them? (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
It's that time of year again -- Burning Man Season -- and that means fresh SCIENCE! Here is a new lab experiment for the fruity hillbilly in all of us. (More...)
