Build Date: Fri Mar 29 11:10:04 2024 UTC
Scientists that live in glass labs, surrounded by fragile beakers of highly toxic materials, shouldn't throw frozen heads.
-- Johnnie Royale
Networking In a Post-Apocalyptic World
1999-10-20 11:23:01
Hey, monkey boy! Know what the RAVENING HORDES are going to do with a scrawny good-for-nothing like you after Y2K? They're going to ROAST you and EAT you. Damn straight! That is... unless you find some way to make yourself useful.
Face it, TECHHEAD, your only skills in life involve 100Base-T, IRQs, and Capture-the-Flag fragfests. But, COME the APOCALYPSE, wide-area networks are going to be few and far between (har har), since there will be A) no electricity B) no telcos and C) a general lack of enterprise commitment and leadership in the realm of information technology strategies.
Sure, maybe back in 1997 you could have started gaining some REAL skills, like how to wrangle burros or how to make a windmill. But we're 2-1/2 months before the millenium, BUB, and frankly you've never shown much aptitude with those mitts of yours, anyways. Face it: you don't have time to learn to survive on your own.
So the question becomes: when the horsemen clad in blood-crusted furs descend on the remnants of your suburban village, how can you appear USEFUL to your new BARBARIAN OVERLORD? The answer is simple, my man: PACKET RADIO!
Packet radio is a networking technology that uses ham radio frequencies to make them COMPUTERS talk to each other over long distances -- without the heavy equipment needed for land lines or microwave or satellite (if those things are still up). You can build a perfectly workable BATTLE INFORMATION INFRASTRUCTURE with equipment that you looted from the charred remains of the Radio Shack (TM) at the Olde Towne Centre.
Packet is an excellent technology. You should get licensed TODAY -- I'm working on mine right now. Join the POST-APOCALYPTIC TECHNO-ELITE: learn PACKET RADIO!
T O P S T O R I E S
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
Health and Human Services officials spend a year on pot
After a yearlong, comprehensive, thorough, complete investigation into the effects of marijuana usage, Health and Human Services (HHS) officials recommended that it be moved from Schedule I of the Controlled Substances Act to Schedule III, meaning that the HHS no longer considers cannabis to be a drug with high abuse potential and no medical value. (More...)
If you've ever wondered what actual bullshit looks like, just check the back side of Lee Meyers' decommissioned police cruiser. Lee chopped the top of the passenger side of the car off so he could take his full-grown Watusi bull, named Howdy Doody, for joy rides around his home town of Neligh, Nebraska. Since the car doesn't have bathroom facilities Howdy Doody just craps all over the back and side of the car whenever he feels the need to let one go. (More...)
Self-righteous assholes block highway to Burning Man
A group of self-righteous assholes converted exactly zero people to their cause by blocking the highway to Burning Man this week. The group, which used a flimsy trailer, some lengths of chain, and a few folding chairs to block the road, put up signs including "Burners of the World Unite," but none of the burners stopped in traffic wanted to unite with them for anything. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Ratsnatcher gets HOT HOT HOT in this classic road tale that looks at the steamy underworld of Bay Area Linux advocacy. Loosen your collar for this one! (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
Ah, it's that special time of year again. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose, crowded, dangerous streets filled with maniac shoppers rushing to the mall to buy Pokemon action figures, and getting hammered at the Xmas party and insulting the boss's hair weave. That's right: it's time to drink heavily and wait out life's little nagging miseries, holiday variety. Pigdog is here to help. (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)