Build Date: Fri Oct 17 02:10:06 2025 UTC
Maybe it's the something young inside us all that embraces the ever-enticing brew of hops and fellowship, a nation of glorious crackpots with their booze-fueled dreams
-- El Destino
Networking In a Post-Apocalyptic World
1999-10-20 11:23:01
Hey, monkey boy! Know what the RAVENING HORDES are going to do with a scrawny good-for-nothing like you after Y2K? They're going to ROAST you and EAT you. Damn straight! That is... unless you find some way to make yourself useful.
Face it, TECHHEAD, your only skills in life involve 100Base-T, IRQs, and Capture-the-Flag fragfests. But, COME the APOCALYPSE, wide-area networks are going to be few and far between (har har), since there will be A) no electricity B) no telcos and C) a general lack of enterprise commitment and leadership in the realm of information technology strategies.
Sure, maybe back in 1997 you could have started gaining some REAL skills, like how to wrangle burros or how to make a windmill. But we're 2-1/2 months before the millenium, BUB, and frankly you've never shown much aptitude with those mitts of yours, anyways. Face it: you don't have time to learn to survive on your own.
So the question becomes: when the horsemen clad in blood-crusted furs descend on the remnants of your suburban village, how can you appear USEFUL to your new BARBARIAN OVERLORD? The answer is simple, my man: PACKET RADIO!
Packet radio is a networking technology that uses ham radio frequencies to make them COMPUTERS talk to each other over long distances -- without the heavy equipment needed for land lines or microwave or satellite (if those things are still up). You can build a perfectly workable BATTLE INFORMATION INFRASTRUCTURE with equipment that you looted from the charred remains of the Radio Shack (TM) at the Olde Towne Centre.
Packet is an excellent technology. You should get licensed TODAY -- I'm working on mine right now. Join the POST-APOCALYPTIC TECHNO-ELITE: learn PACKET RADIO!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
For all you Sensitive New Age Guys (SNAG) out there who complain about not getting laid, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: Women only like to have sex with jerks. (More...)
On a hot spring night after dinner and before the night's serious drinking begins, a Romulan Highball really hits the spot. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
The end of summer is near and sirens call of Black Rock City are beginning to summons Pigdoggers from all of the world to Burning Man. Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL), the world leader in beverage science and leisure technology will be at our second home for a week at 5:00 and Infant (how fitting) as we enjoy the liberated lifestyle of a temporary community 200 miles from nowhere... (More...)
Absinthia: The Pigdog Interview
Absinthe is making a come back for the Millennium. Even English people are slurping it down in pubs, eschewing their normal, healthy stouts and ales. And why not? Hell, if the planet is going to explode anyway, why not ride the DEATH WAVE in, and celebrate Y2K with the most entertaining and vicious elixir you can find? Come! Explore the "Absinthe Underground" with El Snatcher, Mr. Bad, and Splicer, as they interview the notorious absinthe bootlegger, Absinthia. (More...)