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Fuck. That Dude is BLUE. Fuck.
2002-11-04 13:51:01


Y2K Madness
 
Beret-wearing, Citroen-driving, tofu-eating, espresso-drinking, electronica-listening, Ass-of-the-Man-kissing, Utne-reading, playa-hating whiteboy FREAK.
-- Tjames

 

Well, I didn't think we were ever going to get a chance to do another "Y2K Madness" article on Pigdog Journal again, despite the fact that it's one of our finest categories EVER. And yet, this year's election cycle brings us a chance, with the story of the Montana libertarian dude what turned blue because of Y2K.

Dig this story: there's a guy running for US Senate in Montana named Stan Jones. He's a Libertarian, a Montana native, and he's blue. Kinda light-blue-gray, which is an especially weird color to be. He's kind of like Violet Beauregarde after chewing the gum only a couple of seconds. He's not big and round yet, and probably won't be ever.

Mr. Jones turned blue because of Y2K. How cool is that? "Y2K turned me blue." Jones started eating this stuff called "colloidal silver" (I dunno what colloidal means, but it sounds like "colon", so let's just assume he ate the stuff) in 1999 to help his immune system, because he was freaked out that after Y2K nobody was going to have any antibiotics, and he'd get the creeping rot and die. But the problem is that the colloidal (snork) silver gave him a condition called argyria, which makes him all blue and shit.

Anyways, if I was living in Montana, I'd vote for the blue Libertarian. Because he's blue! Fucking cool!

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

fabuloso@pigdog.org


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