Doesn't it seem spooky that there weren't any millenium
cults? I mean, all kinds of crazy people are in the world
and still, none of them seemed to do anything apocalyptic.
And what about like Europe and Africa where they didn't
care about the whole Y2K bug fix thing and left it be.
There's all these reassuring news articles that Y2K didn't
do much. Why is that? Well, actually, we just didn't want
you to flip out.
So, we were really busy dealing with the dinosaurs, flaming angels,
survivalists, disease-resistant bacteria, killer bees, kudzu, swamp rats, Kung
Fu monks, ebola, economic crashes, Luddites, nuclear meltdowns, failed
utilities, returning Messiahs, heroin mutants, seven-winged kings, Four
Horsemen, Ragnarok wave horse bushes, stapling accidents, and sqrat attacks
that we realy didn't want to also deal with you flipping out.
We know how you, more than the rest of the people we know, are really touchy
and sensitive about this stuff, and we just put up some happy articles on your
local computer (since the Internet was eaten by four-dimension telepathic
cockroaches) that would make it seem like everything is fine.
Honestly, we decided it would be better to break it to you once we're through