I love this page. Comically speaking, it's so drop-dead
perfect in its recasting of the old "German guy who speaks very
little English translating stuff from German to English" theme
that, at first read, it looks like one of the best EuroDuh
parodies you've ever encountered. Well, it's NOT. It's REAL.
Look at this: some horrible looking bald guy in a bathtub
with a demented, decidedly unappetizing expression on his Teutonic phiz, and
they're all making like this is the Deutsch Johnny Wadd or somesuch. "I only sit
in the bathtub, drink champagnes and leave me with it the feet pedicures," says
glamorous porn star "Lee Roy"; "to the one, there is only fully in the most
Schwulenproduktionen unglamouröse 250 marks per staged Fick," boasts helpful,
swooning Zitti mag. That Lee Roy is so dreamy!
It makes no sense. Or it makes utter nonsense. In either case, this is
possibly the most perfect interview in the whole history of people interviewing
other people. "In 'techno Dream,' 'swollen leather shorts' and 'Authentic
Adventures' mimes the always-horny he/it, dominanten Rammelbock, that unmerciful
all rannimmt, what doesn't come sufficiently quickly on the trees," the
interviewer states boldly, followed by a classic Lee Roy riposte: "That is
approximately so, as you would stand in the middle of the department store, and
the people perform her/its/their purchases, while you do your matters there."
Still, Lee Roy is realistic about his life in German porno hell: "Sexuality has
simply received another status with me, she/it has strictly speaking even lost
status, because I have enjoyed life so many matters. Just like recently
approximately, as he/it played along at a Cologne production-company with a pee
porno." Ah yes, the pee porno story! "The more the trick drifts off into
represented emotions over the sexual history however, the throws you that more
from your emotional balance."
I think I sort of understand where he's coming from. While you're reading all
about boy Lee Roy, be sure to check out Sexual Night Fever, Zitti's
thrilling encapsulation of an orgy at a sex club replete with tales of
"lacquer-pants" and a "hairy perseverance back."