Ultimate Shit 'N Slide
2021-06-13 23:14:34
NBC's production of the Ultimate Slip 'N Slide TV show had to be shut down this week after approximately 40 crew and cast members fell violently ill with "awful explosive diarrhea."
The show, which is based around the classic Slip 'N Slide toy made by Wham-O, is your basic summertime T&A show where you can see lots of good-looking people in skimpy bathing suits sliding around and on top of one another on wet plastic sheets. There's likely some sort of competition to do... something? Doesn't matter, it's young people with almost nothing on getting wet, that's why you're expected to tune in.
Unfortunately for everyone involved, someone brought an uninvited guest along named Giardia, a tiny parasite that can be found in water contaminated with poop.
Giardia causes giardiasis, an illness with symptoms including explosive diarrhea, gassy wet-sounding farts, painful stomach cramps, upset stomach, and foul-smelling, greasy poop that tends to float.
The main way that people get giardiasis is by swallowing Giardia germs. Giardia spreads easily. According to the CDC, the most common way people get sick is by swallowing contaminated drinking water or recreational water, for example, lakes, rivers, pools, or sliding around on a wet rubber sheet with someone who didn't wipe very well.
Crew members recount harrowing tales of some people collapsing on set and others running for the port-a-potties. Although no photos from the set were available, we imagine that it may have looked a lot like the Woodstock-themed Pol'and'Rock Festival in Poland, pictured here.
NBC planned to air the show starting August 8, following the closing ceremonies of the Tokyo Olympics. Since they had to shut down the set before shooting had been completed the premiere may be delayed or the show may cancelled altogether.
If Ultimate Slip 'N Slide is released, the audience will be both enthralled and revolted: getting a dose of T&A and then a sharp slap back to reality every time they see a contestant get a mouthful of ass water, knowing what's in store for that slider they were rooting for.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Eavesdropping on Geeks: 'Star Trek: Discovery' vs 'The Orville'
If you broke into Pigdog's top sekrit headquarters, spying on their mysterious mix of weird science and old-skool geekiness, you'd overhear this conversation: (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
Australian Troops Set for Days of Debauchery to the Tunes of Kylie Minogue
This weekend Australian troops in East Timor will be able to put their feet up and push all the images of mass graves and charred remains from their minds as they relax to the giddy melodies of Kylie Minogue - including exclusive unplugged performances in the militia-ravaged and blood-spattered border towns of Balibo and Suai. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
The days are getting longer and, as the man says, the nights are getting HOTTER! Lick your finger, touch your ass and go *Tschssh*, cause the damn SUN is out now! And of course that means it's time for a refreshing Spocktail that meets YOUR NEEDS for a delicious booze cooler at affordable prices. (More...)