Build Date: Wed Oct 15 07:20:09 2025 UTC
Beer is the best part of using a computer.
-- Mr. Bad
Annotated Dennis Miller
2000-10-16 19:12:18
Now, old Johnnie isn't a big sports fan anymore. I used to be until all the major sport leagues went on strike and the salaries went through the roof.
There really isn't anything, in my opinion, more disgusting then watching a bunch of multi-millionaires whine about how the team is dissed them because the club is only paying them 8.3 million dollars a year and won't renegotiate their contract. Well, ok, worse, I guess, would be listening some owner bitch and whine about how the city needs to build them a new brand stadium with hundreds luxury boxes so ultra rich fat cats and CEO's can watch the game without having to mingle with the hoi polloi, or they're moving the team.
Back when it was sports and players played cause it was a game, it was fun to watch. Now it's a business. Fine... the only person I like to watch counting their money is me. If it isn't fun to watch Texaco, why are the Yankees interesting? Cides, why would anyone want to watch 400 pound linemen pound each other when there is FREE PORN on the Internet? People need to get their priorities straight if you ask me.
Anyway, Dennis Miller is on Monday Night Football this year as a color commentator. Thing about Dennis is that he likes to use somewhat intellectual metaphors and similes. I think it is kinda cool to have to know who Neville Chamberlain or Robert Oppenheimer was to understand what Dennis is saying. Sadly, most Americans these days were educated by our piss poor school system and haven't a clue about what Dennis is muttering.
To help everyone that missed one or more of Dennis' sayings, the editors of the Encyclopedia Britannica, on their very useful and now mostly functional site www.britannic.com, have created the annotated Dennis Miller page. So, if on Tuesday morning, you are still wondering what the hell Dennis meant when he said "Talk about situational Propecia." when looking at the Viking long hair mascot you can just surf the web and find out that Propecia is a... "pill that prevents hair loss in men by blocking the formation of the male hormone dihydrotestosterone (DHT), high levels of which researchers believe hinders growth of new hair by shrinking hair follicles. Propecia uses finasteride to lower DHT levels and thus slow, if not stop, or even reverse the onset of male pattern baldness in men." Something which I bet most of you didn't know.
Making TV more the just an idiot box might actually get me to start watching again, but I doubt it. TV prefers to cater to the intellectual level of a 4 year old - so I think Dennis' tenure on MNF will be brief.
Last week, during the Viking/Buccaneers game, Britannica caught 26 Millerisms. Which ones would you have gotten?
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
It's winter in Idaho, and Boise personality "Lego-Man" reports on how he celebrated Thanksgiving. "I fed my wife, mother and sister wine slurpies!" (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
Canadia Revealed: A Brief Guide to a Large Country
Recently Pigdog has received many letters from readers who are apparently puzzled and upset by our regular coverage of the mysterious nation north of our border, Canadia. (More...)
You need to make a fruity tropical drink and you have no recipe? Here's a mix recently tested by Pigdog's crack bevertology team that's made with ingredients available from most any grocery store. It tastes sweet, fruity, and is perfect for guzzling on the last hot days of summer. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
