I hate you non-smokers with all of my little black fucking heart, you obnoxious, self-righteous, whining little fucks, my biggest fear, if I quit smoking, is that I'll become one of you. -- Bill Hicks
Now, old Johnnie isn't a big sports fan anymore. I used to be
until all the major sport leagues went on strike and the
salaries went through the roof.
There really isn't anything, in my opinion, more disgusting then watching a
bunch of multi-millionaires whine about how the team is dissed them because the
club is only paying them 8.3 million dollars a year and won't renegotiate their
contract. Well, ok, worse, I guess, would be listening some owner bitch and
whine about how the city needs to build them a new brand stadium with hundreds
luxury boxes so ultra rich fat cats and CEO's can watch the game without having
to mingle with the hoi polloi, or they're moving the team.
Back when it was sports and players played cause it was a game, it was fun to
watch. Now it's a business. Fine... the only person I like to watch
counting their money is me. If it isn't fun to watch Texaco, why are the
Yankees interesting? Cides, why would anyone want to watch 400 pound linemen
pound each other when there is FREE PORN on the Internet? People need to get
their priorities straight if you ask me.
Anyway, Dennis Miller is on Monday Night Football this year as a color
commentator. Thing about Dennis is that he likes to use somewhat intellectual
metaphors and similes. I think it is kinda cool to have to know who Neville
Chamberlain or Robert Oppenheimer was to understand what Dennis is saying.
Sadly, most Americans these days were educated by our piss poor school system
and haven't a clue about what Dennis is muttering.
To help everyone that missed one or more of Dennis' sayings, the editors of the
Encyclopedia Britannica, on their very useful and now mostly functional site www.britannic.com, have created the
annotated Dennis Miller page. So, if on Tuesday morning, you are still
wondering what the hell Dennis meant when he said "Talk about situational
Propecia." when looking at the Viking long hair mascot you can just surf the
web and find out that Propecia is a... "pill that prevents hair loss in men
by blocking the formation of the male hormone dihydrotestosterone (DHT), high
levels of which researchers believe hinders growth of new hair by shrinking
hair follicles. Propecia uses finasteride to lower DHT levels and thus slow, if
not stop, or even reverse the onset of male pattern baldness in men."
Something which I bet most of you didn't know.
Making TV more the just an idiot box might actually get me to start watching
again, but I doubt it. TV prefers to cater to the intellectual level of a 4
year old - so I think Dennis' tenure on MNF will be brief.
Last week, during the Viking/Buccaneers game, Britannica caught 26 Millerisms.
Which ones would you have gotten?
