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Annotated Dennis Miller
2000-10-16 19:12:18


The World of Sport
 
No more Task Force Smiths!
-- The Compulsive Splicer

 

Now, old Johnnie isn't a big sports fan anymore. I used to be until all the major sport leagues went on strike and the salaries went through the roof.

There really isn't anything, in my opinion, more disgusting then watching a bunch of multi-millionaires whine about how the team is dissed them because the club is only paying them 8.3 million dollars a year and won't renegotiate their contract. Well, ok, worse, I guess, would be listening some owner bitch and whine about how the city needs to build them a new brand stadium with hundreds luxury boxes so ultra rich fat cats and CEO's can watch the game without having to mingle with the hoi polloi, or they're moving the team.

Back when it was sports and players played cause it was a game, it was fun to watch. Now it's a business. Fine... the only person I like to watch counting their money is me. If it isn't fun to watch Texaco, why are the Yankees interesting? Cides, why would anyone want to watch 400 pound linemen pound each other when there is FREE PORN on the Internet? People need to get their priorities straight if you ask me.

Anyway, Dennis Miller is on Monday Night Football this year as a color commentator. Thing about Dennis is that he likes to use somewhat intellectual metaphors and similes. I think it is kinda cool to have to know who Neville Chamberlain or Robert Oppenheimer was to understand what Dennis is saying. Sadly, most Americans these days were educated by our piss poor school system and haven't a clue about what Dennis is muttering.

To help everyone that missed one or more of Dennis' sayings, the editors of the Encyclopedia Britannica, on their very useful and now mostly functional site www.britannic.com, have created the annotated Dennis Miller page. So, if on Tuesday morning, you are still wondering what the hell Dennis meant when he said "Talk about situational Propecia." when looking at the Viking long hair mascot you can just surf the web and find out that Propecia is a... "pill that prevents hair loss in men by blocking the formation of the male hormone dihydrotestosterone (DHT), high levels of which researchers believe hinders growth of new hair by shrinking hair follicles. Propecia uses finasteride to lower DHT levels and thus slow, if not stop, or even reverse the onset of male pattern baldness in men." Something which I bet most of you didn't know.

Making TV more the just an idiot box might actually get me to start watching again, but I doubt it. TV prefers to cater to the intellectual level of a 4 year old - so I think Dennis' tenure on MNF will be brief.

Last week, during the Viking/Buccaneers game, Britannica caught 26 Millerisms. Which ones would you have gotten?

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

quintuplet@pigdog.org


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