Build Date: Thu Apr 30 16:10:06 2026 UTC

My husband has never battered me, but then again, I've never given him a reason to.
-- Montana Gov. Judy Martz, Jan. 16, 2001

Never Ask A Man To Do A Woman's Job

by Negative Nancy

1999-10-01 16:03:48

...because he'll find some way to work wing nuts and lag bolts into it... This years winner of the Annals of Improbably Reasearch Ig Noble Prize for Managed Health Care deserves some special attention. US Patent #3,216,423, entitled "APPARATUS FOR FACILITATING THE BIRTH OF A CHILD BY CENTRIGUGAL FORCE" may be one of the scariest things I have ever seen in all my years of reporting for Pigdog Journal.

And if the image doesn't get ya, the text description will. And it's not just the fact that no one really ever wants to see the words "vagina" and "radial centrifugal force" in the same sentence. There is also a lovley little introductory explanation as to why "more civilized women" need to be strapped into this monstrosity (with wingnuts and screws!) to do something that "more primitive people" have been doing just fine on their own for the last several thousand years.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

czech@pigdog.org

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