Build Date: Fri Apr 19 15:30:07 2024 UTC
There is no beer in space. That really pisses me off.
-- Johnnie Royale
He Is Smart And You Suck
2002-04-04 11:19:32
Gianni Golfera has been captured by Italian scientists and is being studied so that the secret to his genetic mind superpowers can be harnessed. Okay, except for the part about capturing.
I am assuming that, since you are a Pigdog reader, you consider yourself pretty fucking smart. So I can only assume that you can't help being intimidated and a little pissed off by the "That's Incredible" style geniuses. Well, Gianna Golfera is like that, and so is his father. And his grandfather. They're eidetic.
If you don't know what eidetic is, that's okay. Go look it up.
So, other than Lou Salome, all of my heroes from history were eidetic. Teddy Roosevelt. Matteo Ricci. Those folks. Generally, how eidetic memory works is that memories get associated with images, places, or emotional ideals. Roman orators had special techniques to memorize long speeches, and the tradition was carried on into the Renaissance, where specialists would learn to construct their "House of Memory" in which thoughts are converted to images and places throughout an imaginary house. The thoughts are organized and corrolated with more easily-remembered images.
Theoretically, you could learn it too.
But Gianni's whole paternal line are doing it, and Italian scientists believe it's genetic. So they're studying Gianni, and hoping to find out which proteins are governing it.
Which means that the next batch of kids will all have perfect memories. They will call you and me stupid. And, you know, they'll be right.
So let's all go kick this kid's ass now, while we still can!
T O P S T O R I E S
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Datelined "Historic Mariposa," the fateful press release came in like an angry wind, announcing the release of a self-produced album, "Ordinary Hero," by occasional Pigdog contributor Thom Stark, in the language and tone of a Major Event, setting off a brief firestorm around the pigdog mailing list. (More...)
The days are getting longer and, as the man says, the nights are getting HOTTER! Lick your finger, touch your ass and go *Tschssh*, cause the damn SUN is out now! And of course that means it's time for a refreshing Spocktail that meets YOUR NEEDS for a delicious booze cooler at affordable prices. (More...)
About 14 years ago when I was on a road trip and stopped in Seattle, I was invited to a party. At this party there were these little tiny glasses sitting in a flat-bottomed bowl of ice. Thin cylinders about an inch in diameter and 4 inches tall, with thick glass at the bottom. Into these were poured frozen AKVAVIT... also known as the water of life. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
