Build Date: Thu Nov 13 05:30:13 2025 UTC
I like my brains mushy, not crisp, with a liberal helping of gravy over it.
-- Head Freezin' Gene
He Is Smart And You Suck
2002-04-04 11:19:32
Gianni Golfera has been captured by Italian scientists and is being studied so that the secret to his genetic mind superpowers can be harnessed. Okay, except for the part about capturing.
I am assuming that, since you are a Pigdog reader, you consider yourself pretty fucking smart. So I can only assume that you can't help being intimidated and a little pissed off by the "That's Incredible" style geniuses. Well, Gianna Golfera is like that, and so is his father. And his grandfather. They're eidetic.
If you don't know what eidetic is, that's okay. Go look it up.
So, other than Lou Salome, all of my heroes from history were eidetic. Teddy Roosevelt. Matteo Ricci. Those folks. Generally, how eidetic memory works is that memories get associated with images, places, or emotional ideals. Roman orators had special techniques to memorize long speeches, and the tradition was carried on into the Renaissance, where specialists would learn to construct their "House of Memory" in which thoughts are converted to images and places throughout an imaginary house. The thoughts are organized and corrolated with more easily-remembered images.
Theoretically, you could learn it too.
But Gianni's whole paternal line are doing it, and Italian scientists believe it's genetic. So they're studying Gianni, and hoping to find out which proteins are governing it.
Which means that the next batch of kids will all have perfect memories. They will call you and me stupid. And, you know, they'll be right.
So let's all go kick this kid's ass now, while we still can!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
