Build Date: Thu May 1 01:40:34 2025 UTC
Just be glad that someone is willing to pay for you to learn how to freeze heads.
-- Johnnie Royale
Who Loves the Sun?
1999-12-21 12:12:55
So, tonight around 11:45PM PST the winter solstice will occur. Beaujolais to that! And it's a full moon, too! Also Beaujolais! There's a bunch of other weird elliptic mathematical things going on, too, but who cares? Go enjoy the moon.
The link at the end of this story is to a page at the Old Farmer's Almanac that you've probably already heard about. Apparently this year the winter solstice coincides with the full moon AND with the lunar perigee -- meaning the moon will be closest to the earth, and the earth closest to the sun, than it's ever been since 1866 or so. Which SHOULD mean that the moon will be HUGE and BRIGHT and WONDERFUL in the night sky.
But apparently a bunch of eggheads over at Sky and Telescope are debunking the whole darn "brightest moon of the last 150 years" thing. They did lots of calculations and estimations and have big calendars and such that seem to indicate that the moon will be big and bright all right, but that it's really not all that big a deal. There have supposedly been lots of brighter moons in the last 100 years.
I'm not sure what my position is on this. My feeling is that I trust an Old Farmer a lot more than some astronomy goobs at Sky and Telescope. Don't you? Old Farmers usually say things in a lot more colorful way, with lots of sayings like "I reckon" and "as the crow flies" and "Ye can put that in yer pipe and smoke it!" and such. They also have cool wrinkly faces and give you hits off their flasks of rotgut whiskey. Oh, and they have ancient homespun wisdom, which none of your book-larnin' can match.
Astronomy goobs, on the other hand, always have bad breath and scraggly beards and big fishbowl glasses. And they say everything to you real slow and with humiliating examples as if you were a painfully retarded mandrill. Oh: and they never have whiskey. So, I'm going to have to go with the Old Farmer on this one.
I think the S&T folks are just PISSED that they spend all this time encouraging people to get excited about astronomy, and have like elementary school outreach programs where they drag scores of yawning children through shelves and shelves of boring laboratory equipment, and it never works, and people still find astronomy boring, and it's very frustating. But THEN people get all EXCITED about this crazy moon-solstice thing that isn't even really a THING, if you actually know what you're talking about. I mean, it's exactly the kind of situation that makes science guys jump around like they have furious bees in their pants.
But frankly, who gives a fuck? Isn't it GREAT that there are thousands of people who are going to go out and enjoy the moon tonight, brightest-of-the-century or not? You should go out tonight (and tomorrow night), too. Enjoy the moon! Enjoy the night! Dance around like an idiot. We live on a PLANET that goes around the SUN every YEAR! And we have a MOON, too! Isn't that just the COOLEST THING?!? Wow. Beaujolais!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
It was the night of the Leonid meteor showers -- the perfect opportunity to break out the evil opaline liquor, get madder than hatters, and test wireless ethernet hardware... Would the plunging meteorites interfere with the 2.4GHz band? What about our delicate brain waves? (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
Things to Say When You're Losing a Technical Argument
Mr. Bad and Crackmonkey collaborate on a fine Mr. Bad's List. We put together ALL the TECHNOLOGY you ever need to know in order to STUMP your OPPONENT in a technical argument. Use these only when your back is against the wall -- they're definitely desperation tactics. (More...)