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Linux, You Can Drive My Car
1999-03-10 15:45:00


Weird Linux
 
I hope some Arch-Angel Waitress in a tight fitting cocktail dress, with a small nose and really big tat tats, smacks you in the head for sucking down those LFPs and not tipping.
-- Johnnie Royale

 

So, I give German Linux advocates a lot of flak, since they are almost by definition the weirdest users of Linux ever. They do all the freaky Linux dances! But I gotta say that this research group at the University of Parma in Italy has them beat by a long shot. I mean, there's a world of difference between using Linux to play MP3s on your car stereo and USING LINUX TO DRIVE THE CAR.

They used all kinds of freaky vision and video recognition software to let Linux "see" the road and make decisions about where to drive. They even let Linux drive them all over Italy. Like, 2000 kilometers! Admittedly, that's only driving in metric so it doesn't count as much, but still, it's quite a feat!

Imagine the possibilities for this! I mean, I already tell Linux to go pick up my email and maintain my website and shit. Now I can SEND IT OUT TO THE STORE to buy me BEER and PORN. Or to go pick up my Mom at the airport while I stay home and play ZAngband! TOTALLY ROCKING. I can even tell it to go run over somebody I don't like! Ha ha!

Now, if they start adding machine guns and rocket launchers to the damn things, we could have the ultimate dream -- an ARMY of ROBOT ASSASSIN CARS to attack and destroy Microsoft! Think you could build an army of robot assassin cars with Windows 98? Think again, shit-for-brains! Their robot army will fall before Linux! Haw haw! Stupid Windows!

Anyways, go give these-a crazy Italianos some BIG PRAISE for furthering The Cause. And use their e-commerce page to buy a car for your Linux to drive! OK, they don't have a page like that yet, but maybe soon, eh?

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

junkyarddog@pigdog.org


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