Build Date: Wed Dec 3 10:30:05 2025 UTC
I've got a Ph.D., Pimpin' Hos Degree!
-- Pimpin' Ken
Linux, You Can Drive My Car
1999-03-10 15:45:00
So, I give German Linux advocates a lot of flak, since they are almost by definition the weirdest users of Linux ever. They do all the freaky Linux dances! But I gotta say that this research group at the University of Parma in Italy has them beat by a long shot. I mean, there's a world of difference between using Linux to play MP3s on your car stereo and USING LINUX TO DRIVE THE CAR.
They used all kinds of freaky vision and video recognition software to let Linux "see" the road and make decisions about where to drive. They even let Linux drive them all over Italy. Like, 2000 kilometers! Admittedly, that's only driving in metric so it doesn't count as much, but still, it's quite a feat!
Imagine the possibilities for this! I mean, I already tell Linux to go pick up my email and maintain my website and shit. Now I can SEND IT OUT TO THE STORE to buy me BEER and PORN. Or to go pick up my Mom at the airport while I stay home and play ZAngband! TOTALLY ROCKING. I can even tell it to go run over somebody I don't like! Ha ha!
Now, if they start adding machine guns and rocket launchers to the damn things, we could have the ultimate dream -- an ARMY of ROBOT ASSASSIN CARS to attack and destroy Microsoft! Think you could build an army of robot assassin cars with Windows 98? Think again, shit-for-brains! Their robot army will fall before Linux! Haw haw! Stupid Windows!
Anyways, go give these-a crazy Italianos some BIG PRAISE for furthering The Cause. And use their e-commerce page to buy a car for your Linux to drive! OK, they don't have a page like that yet, but maybe soon, eh?
T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
What do Computers and Skateboards have in Common?
They both sprang from the mind of John Mauchly that's what. (More...)
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
One of our star reporters was sent to Comdex by his employer. El Destino reports live from the biggest, geekiest trade show in the world. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
