Build Date: Wed Jan 7 01:00:12 2026 UTC
You're so pretty, they should put your head in a box.
-- Johnnie Royale
More Sick Clustering Bastards
1999-05-30 00:41:38
MOSIX is the hot new thing for cluster-building perverts. It's, like, a way to make a cluster that's even more biological and incestuous and juicy and disgusting than the old ways. There's lots of gross stuff that MOSIX does. Beaujolais!
Actually, MOSIX is pretty copacetic. Clusters, as you know, are when you squish together a whole bunch of computers to make one big supermodel sexpot computer. Old-style clustering technologies made you have special programs that used special APIs to make the clustering happen. With Mosix, you don't have to do that. It's INVISIBLE. You could be cluster-computing right now! How would you know?
Mosix is made by researchers from Israel, which I don't know what to tell you. I remember when like the Israeli programmers all they did was make viruses all the time. They made better viruses than Bulgarians! And more of them! Real sicko viruses that, like, would make your monitor explode and send shards of glass into your eye! That real bad kind!
But now all of a sudden they're making crazy clusters. I guess they went from violence to sex. Anyways, make sure you check out the coolio pictures of their 100-node Mosix cluster. It's GROSS! Triple-X hot I/O action! Go there NOW!

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