Build Date: Sun Jun 14 08:40:07 2026 UTC
Cope or Die
-- Johnnie Royale
Live 365 -- What the hell are they thinking?
1999-07-06 20:45:05
Man, so Live 365 has some of the killerest Internet radio stations ever. Like, real real good stuff (I like Fastwater myself). But check this out: they want to give you 100 Mb of Web space FREEE!
FREEE STUFF!!! What's going on with this GODDAMNED WEB!?!?! Why can you get so much free stuff!?!
100 Mb of hard disk space is just too good to pass up. You could use it for backing up your PORN COLLECTION or all your crazy MP3's! Or whatever! I mean, Jesu! 100 Mb!
Look! I created one! It's right here: HERE HERE HERE!. It's only about 500 bytes, a TOTAL WASTE of my 100Mb of space, but WHO CARES! It's all MINE!
I even used my MUJmail address to sign up! So, like, if I put up 100Mb of slanderous PORN and MP3's about Tsutomu Shimomura, he would have to chase me through the AETHER across TWO CONTINENTS in a HEART-POUNDING RACE through a virtual maze of hidden identities and FALSE LEADS! Perhaps I, the PERPETRATOR, would NEVER BE FOUND!
On second thought, that would be BAD and WRONG. Only a BAD HAKR D00D would do something like that, and I'm sure that the good people at Live 365 would kick my ass real hard and take all my porn off the Web real fast. So I won't do that, I promise.
But check out Live365 anyways! Take advantage while you CAN!!!
T O P S T O R I E S
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Our man Daemon Agent checks out the heavy heavy sounds of crazy space surf rockers Man or Astroman?. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
There are two kinds of Assmen in this world. Wild, hairy assmen, who put stickers that say things like "Why Be Normal?" all over their trucks and drink Corona beer and wear fezzes at parties for attention; these are the Assman Desperados. Our job is to ferret them out and expose them. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
Patient Joab and his evil cohort, Patient Steve, develop a proposal for the plastic-v.-paper problem that EVERYONE can be happy with. An EXCLUSIVE from Spock Mountain Research Labs! (More...)
