Build Date: Sun Sep 7 00:00:09 2025 UTC
I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
-- August Strindberg
Live 365 -- What the hell are they thinking?
1999-07-06 20:45:05
Man, so Live 365 has some of the killerest Internet radio stations ever. Like, real real good stuff (I like Fastwater myself). But check this out: they want to give you 100 Mb of Web space FREEE!
FREEE STUFF!!! What's going on with this GODDAMNED WEB!?!?! Why can you get so much free stuff!?!
100 Mb of hard disk space is just too good to pass up. You could use it for backing up your PORN COLLECTION or all your crazy MP3's! Or whatever! I mean, Jesu! 100 Mb!
Look! I created one! It's right here: HERE HERE HERE!. It's only about 500 bytes, a TOTAL WASTE of my 100Mb of space, but WHO CARES! It's all MINE!
I even used my MUJmail address to sign up! So, like, if I put up 100Mb of slanderous PORN and MP3's about Tsutomu Shimomura, he would have to chase me through the AETHER across TWO CONTINENTS in a HEART-POUNDING RACE through a virtual maze of hidden identities and FALSE LEADS! Perhaps I, the PERPETRATOR, would NEVER BE FOUND!
On second thought, that would be BAD and WRONG. Only a BAD HAKR D00D would do something like that, and I'm sure that the good people at Live 365 would kick my ass real hard and take all my porn off the Web real fast. So I won't do that, I promise.
But check out Live365 anyways! Take advantage while you CAN!!!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
For all you Sensitive New Age Guys (SNAG) out there who complain about not getting laid, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: Women only like to have sex with jerks. (More...)