Build Date: Thu Oct 16 14:30:12 2025 UTC
Okay, I'm a humble coding monkey who wants to grow jungles in the Virgo Cluster. So sue me.
-- Arkuat
Time To Kick Up a Shitstorm!
2000-03-09 12:19:40
Howdy. Want t'hear some fine ass-kickin' Country music?
Undeniably, without Country Western music, thar'd not be Rock & Roll, ah reckon. It's unfo'tunate thet this hyar true musical fo'm of America has been glutted wif retarded inbreeds who reckon country moosic is by doin' a bad, watered-down imitashun of Lyynrrd Skynrrd (which th' cow-fuckers in Marketin' will tell yo' is called "yo'ng country"). Tune into enny C&W radio stashun. Th' chances of hearin' Waylon Jenning, Johnny Cash o' enny other of th' thousan's of ban's & indivijools playin' tradishunal (i.e. REAL) country music is about th' same as yo' bein' hit on th' haid by a meteo'ite bouncin' off th' surface of Pluto.
Thank Gawd fo' th' Internet.
Bypassin' all th' various marketin' sueyts, lovers of music is puttin' togither Internet radio shows. In this hyar particular case, Mr. Lucky & Gus sarve up hot & steamah servin's of C&W moosic on their show, Th' DoubleWide Hayride Show. Th' kind yo''d speck t'hear eff'n yo' were walkin' into honky-tonk on some back-road in Montana. So eff'n yo've gotten tired of th' blan' & bo'in' cookie-cutter crap put out by th' likes of Limp Muzik, tune in t'th' Hayride Show fo' proof thet thar's still fine moosic lef' in these here parts.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
It's winter in Idaho, and Boise personality "Lego-Man" reports on how he celebrated Thanksgiving. "I fed my wife, mother and sister wine slurpies!" (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
