Build Date: Thu May 1 03:00:41 2025 UTC
This is a very efficient way to tell your liver "fuck you! I don't fucking like you!" To tell the truth, I'm afraid to stand up. I'm mildly buzzed, but judging by the level of whiskey in the jar when I stand up I am going to be sitting right back down again.
-- H.R. Taffs
Time To Kick Up a Shitstorm!
2000-03-09 12:19:40
Howdy. Want t'hear some fine ass-kickin' Country music?
Undeniably, without Country Western music, thar'd not be Rock & Roll, ah reckon. It's unfo'tunate thet this hyar true musical fo'm of America has been glutted wif retarded inbreeds who reckon country moosic is by doin' a bad, watered-down imitashun of Lyynrrd Skynrrd (which th' cow-fuckers in Marketin' will tell yo' is called "yo'ng country"). Tune into enny C&W radio stashun. Th' chances of hearin' Waylon Jenning, Johnny Cash o' enny other of th' thousan's of ban's & indivijools playin' tradishunal (i.e. REAL) country music is about th' same as yo' bein' hit on th' haid by a meteo'ite bouncin' off th' surface of Pluto.
Thank Gawd fo' th' Internet.
Bypassin' all th' various marketin' sueyts, lovers of music is puttin' togither Internet radio shows. In this hyar particular case, Mr. Lucky & Gus sarve up hot & steamah servin's of C&W moosic on their show, Th' DoubleWide Hayride Show. Th' kind yo''d speck t'hear eff'n yo' were walkin' into honky-tonk on some back-road in Montana. So eff'n yo've gotten tired of th' blan' & bo'in' cookie-cutter crap put out by th' likes of Limp Muzik, tune in t'th' Hayride Show fo' proof thet thar's still fine moosic lef' in these here parts.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
Our man Daemon Agent checks out the heavy heavy sounds of crazy space surf rockers Man or Astroman?. (More...)
Suru and I were at the local supermarket recently when we found ourselves in the booze isle, surrounded by rum. Banana rum, coconut rum, vanilla rum, unfiltered run, Jamaican rum, rum, rum, and more rum. We bought one of each and started experimenting... (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)