Build Date: Fri Mar 29 07:10:06 2024 UTC
A doctor friend told me that in twenty years he never saw a vegetarian
patient with disease, only trauma (gunshot wounds, for example).
-- Trevor "Fuckhead" Johnson
Three Words: Guerrilla Queer Bar
2000-10-27 00:27:03
So, you're gayer than an Easter parade, you like to drink, you live in San Francisco, and you're sick of the constant dumbing-down of the Most Wonderful City Ever Invented. What do you do? You got it: Guerrilla Queer Bar.
The folks who organize, so to speak, the Guerrilla Queer Bar call it "Part street party, part anti-gentrification protest act, and part guerrilla theater." The deal works like this:
Take your average horrible disgusting yuppie bar in the City. You know, the kind with guys with ties or blue denim-y button downs with the company logo ("Broccoli.com") over the breast pocket. All the women are wearing LBDs or Corporate Cyber Wear (TM). There are potentially rugby shirts in the house. There's lite alterna-rock playing in the background. It's vapid. It's an insult to your intelligence. It's a cauliflower-sized goiter on the World's Most Fabulous City. Nauseous yet?
Now, imagine a SURPRISE VISIT by a huge crowd of BIG FREEEEKS and CRAZY FAGS and the people who love them. Add leather and drag queens and pumping music. Think BIG HAIR. Think CHAPS. Now, get them STINKERS DRUNK. LEWD DANCING ensues. Much crazy kissing between folks with 3-day beards. Beaujolais!
I just got to say I love this Guerrilla Queer Bar idea. Actually, I like any guerrilla idea. And BARS are pretty great, too. And making people squirm. These are all concepts I stand strongly behind. Beaujolais for Guerrilla Queer Bar!
T O P S T O R I E S
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident
Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)
Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run
"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)
Health and Human Services officials spend a year on pot
After a yearlong, comprehensive, thorough, complete investigation into the effects of marijuana usage, Health and Human Services (HHS) officials recommended that it be moved from Schedule I of the Controlled Substances Act to Schedule III, meaning that the HHS no longer considers cannabis to be a drug with high abuse potential and no medical value. (More...)
If you've ever wondered what actual bullshit looks like, just check the back side of Lee Meyers' decommissioned police cruiser. Lee chopped the top of the passenger side of the car off so he could take his full-grown Watusi bull, named Howdy Doody, for joy rides around his home town of Neligh, Nebraska. Since the car doesn't have bathroom facilities Howdy Doody just craps all over the back and side of the car whenever he feels the need to let one go. (More...)
Self-righteous assholes block highway to Burning Man
A group of self-righteous assholes converted exactly zero people to their cause by blocking the highway to Burning Man this week. The group, which used a flimsy trailer, some lengths of chain, and a few folding chairs to block the road, put up signs including "Burners of the World Unite," but none of the burners stopped in traffic wanted to unite with them for anything. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Experimenter is a film released in 2015 starring Peter Sarsgaard. It tells the story of Dr. Stanley Milgram's life, including the infamous Milgram electric shock experiment, tests on crowds, and his work developing a theory on the mechanics of social networks. It currently streams on Netflix. (More...)
Hooray! At long last, a NEW Spocktail of the Week! Kid-tested, mother-approved! (More...)
All this talk about death, wakes and Moloch recently has, frankly, got me a little worried. What if I'm next to go? I could slip on a wet banana peel and slam my head against an enormous brass statue at almost any time. I'm not planning well enough for this sort of thing. Who will talk for me when this terrible day comes? (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
A Treatise Prepared for the Gallup Organization on the Symbolism of the Scarab
Well dahlings, the response to my new tarot column has been quite overwhelming. I got three whole pieces of mail requesting my arcane insight. One asked why blogs suck so much, and one was a completely incomprehensible tale of bears shitting random numbers in the woods — I am fairly certain it was a cryptographic allegory. Howsomever, only ONE of the inquiries was accompanied by a crisp ten-dollar bill, and so it's the Gallup Organization that will this week reap the benefit of my wicked pack of cards. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)