Build Date: Thu May 1 07:50:56 2025 UTC
Zach is happy and Zach doesn't worry about Alabama schoolgirls. That is because Zach has a secret - he drinks a lot and never leaves the house.
-- Johnnie Royale
Texas is The Reason
2000-01-11 11:18:20
The tale you are about to read will shock and horrify you. It is a story of a person intentionally running over another person with a two-ton Caddy, in cold blood, in front of dozen's of witnesses. The fact that this is a true story is bad enough. What will curdle your blood is that it gets far worse.
Dateline: December 12, 1997 - Amarillo Texas
A group of Punks had had enough of the knuckle-dragging jocks, who in typical primate-like behavior attacked anything that differed from what they perceived as "normal." A massive fight ensued, resulting in one Dustin Camp deciding to use his car as a weapon. Camp ran down a kid named Brian Deneke with enough force to crush his skull & chest, as well as rip the collarbone clean out of his body.
Now here's where it gets worse.
You would expect that with all the witnesses (both in the car and the in parking lot) that this would be an open & shut case. And because it's Texas, Dustin Camp would be spending the rest of his life trying to find the happy place, as his pudgy, pink, hairless anus is invaded and filled with the backed-up semen of a hundred fellow inmates. Instead, local sleazeball and Satan's chief cocksucker & jism-drinker, Warren L. Clark not only got the murder charge dropped down to manslaughter, but made it seem like the victim actually had it coming. I should also mention that Dustin Camp didn't spend a single day behind bars whatsoever.
Currently, Dustin Camp is walking around a free man, probably unrepentant of his crime. His friends cannot understand why people point at him in the street, and why he has to endure the various court-assigned limitations that come with probation. He can't go hunting, go to a party, and has to be home by 10PM every night.
After all, he said he was sorry, what more do you want?
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report? (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
Johnny Royale loves his Trackman ultra pointer thingy. It's coolio! Read all about it! (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)