Build Date: Fri Nov 6 19:30:14 2026 UTC
I'd like a bumper sticker that says "Pillage Globally, Profit Locally."
-- Trevor 'Fuckhead' Johnson
Happy Birthday Bill
1999-12-16 11:59:45
Today marks the birth date of the late great Bill Hicks. Had he lived, he would have been 38. To mark this occasion Hicks' partner-in-crime, Kevin Booth has paid tribute to his fallen friend, with a broadcast of the set that made David Letterman cower in fear.
Shortly before he shuffled off this mortal coil, Bill Hicks did his twelfth appearance on David Letterman's show, with a set that left the audience in tears of laughter, and a better understanding of how the world is. Later that day, Hicks received a call from one of David's flunkies. He explained that when the show moved to CBS, part of the requirement of the transfer was that Dave and his entire staff would have to snip off their balls, and personally feed them to a bunch of rednecks. And while it was Letterman's show, it was Westinghouse's network. After the Starchamber viewed Hick's material, three Mongolian enforcers were dispatched to Dave's office to make sure that their prized neutered corporate lapdog was still loyal.
In the end, Hicks' monologue was cut, and Dave made a few more bucks happily swallowing down three servings of Mongolian Salty White Oyster Surprise. So tune in and hear Bill's banned set, along with his appearance on Howard Stern's radio show. You'll never be able to watch Letterman the same way again (if at all).
Report filed from the desk of Arizona Bay Lifeguard Station 1
T O P S T O R I E S
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America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
What do Computers and Skateboards have in Common?
They both sprang from the mind of John Mauchly that's what. (More...)
Place the Lighter on the Ground and Let Us See Your Hands
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A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
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Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
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