Build Date: Fri Jun 13 09:30:10 2025 UTC
It seems I've fallen into a pit of booze and can't get up
-- Johnnie Royale
Echelon Watch! Watch Me Watch You!
1999-11-17 23:39:22
Well, SHIT. I guess I can't go on thinking that Echelon is a myth anymore. Once the ACLU develops a watchdog organization, man, you just got to admit that the damn thing exists.
bAs the story goes, "Echelon" is the super-extra-ultra-top-secret project by the National Security Agency (NSA -- see Enemy of the State for details) to monitor domestic phone lines and Internet traffic. As the story goes, the Spooks use keyword searches on ALL domestic communications to identify Bad People and read their email/listen to their phone lines.
NORAD CIA $400 million in gold bullion [Hello to all my fans in domestic surveillance] plutonium Saddam Hussein Kibo strategic Craig Livingstone arrangements Honduras Ft. Bragg DES colonel militia
This has been rumored for so long that it's become sort of the Internet boogie man. "Look out for what you say, or the NSA will GETCHA!!!" Then, just a few months ago, evidence came forward indicated that Echelon was for REAL. Meaning, all that porno and all that incendiary political shit and threats on the president's life that you've been sending to your friends and loved ones have been READ and ANALYZED by evil fuckheads with mirrorshades and bad suits. DAMN!
Qaddafi Vince Foster Rule Psix radar North Korea Saddam Hussein SEAL Team 6 ammunition Nazi FBI bomb smuggle Uzi Mossad Cocaine
Well, people are up in arms about this, of course. But what can you do? First and foremost, go get you some good encryption, like GnuPG, and use it for as much mail as you can. The Gnomes may be able to break this encryption -- there's really no way we can know that -- but at least they won't be able to keyword-scan you that easily.
Ft. Bragg NSA munitions radar BATF SEAL Team 6 Treasury COSCO Qaddafi Mossad spy NORAD nuclear colonel jihad
Second, if everyone starts using "incendiary" keywords in their e-mail and on Web sites, supposedly the Echelon computers will get "jammed" and will be unable to do their work. At the very least, it's FUN to say the real dirty words of the 21st century. Try it! (Emacs has a great "spook" function that auto-generates "forbidden" words and phrases. I've dropped a few into this article, as you can see.)
Khaddafi clones Vince Foster smuggle Treasury North Korea fissionable colonel supercomputer class struggle Semtex nuclear Rule Psix Ft. Meade White Water
Lastly, you can go the political route and lean on your Congressional representative to get some info about Echelon out to the public. That's what the ACLU started this EchelonWatch for, after all. As usual, an embarassment to liberals everywhere, but the conservative folks have a big jump on this and are making things kind of hot for the Clinton Administration over the issue. Go send some angry mail to Barb Boxer and Nancy Pelosi, and get them to hang up the other line! NSA out of my brain!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Experimenter is a film released in 2015 starring Peter Sarsgaard. It tells the story of Dr. Stanley Milgram's life, including the infamous Milgram electric shock experiment, tests on crowds, and his work developing a theory on the mechanics of social networks. It currently streams on Netflix. (More...)
Pigdog Journal's crack interview team gangs up on avant-garde Dutch musician SOLEX; bad craziness ensues. Yet another fabulous PIGDOG INTERVIEW. For REAL. (More...)