Build Date: Fri May 24 00:20:09 2024 UTC

Disneyland is like an airport: a fascist subdomain of the general ecosphere.
-- Mr. Bad

Every Parent's Worst Nightmare

by Baron Earl

2022-09-02 00:25:11

"What do you do when your bright, loveable [sic], talented kid turns into a punker overnight? The Nelsons are about to find out." promises the tag line from The Day My Kid Went Punk, an ABC Afterschool Special from 1987.

The story revolves around a nerdy kid named Terry Warner who goes to a fancy college prep high school, dresses like a dweeb, and plays violin in the school orchestra.

When a girl he likes ignores his sorry ass and starts dating a punk rocker Terry does what any horny teenage boy would do, he transforms himself into someone completely different. He dyes his hair, pierces his ear, starts wearing makeup, puts on some black clothes, buys a leather jacket, and joins a punk rock band.

It totally works too! Turns out that the girl he likes is vapid and shallow, and as soon as he changes everything about himself she dumps that other loser and hooks up with Terry.

His parents aren't happy about his new look, and as far as they're concerned Terry is throwing away his entire future. What a waste.

Way to go Terry!

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

T O P   S T O R I E S

Report for America

C L A S S I C   P I G D O G