Build Date: Wed Feb 21 14:50:07 2024 UTC

I'm a self-important, ignorant drunk who avoids organized religions like the plague.
-- Johnnie Royale

Assman Better Have My Money!

by Tjames Madison

1999-08-16 13:18:40

Mr. Bad asks, "Can someone be an Assman if they don't call themselves 'Assman'?" Sure, this may not seem an important distinction, any more than calling a Mennonite "Amish," but it's CRUCIAL to the Assmen themselves. And sometimes, you're an Assman and you don't even know it...

"Christine is a big Assman," Mr. Bad continues. "Like real big. An assmaniacal."

We concur. From the opening KEWL ASSZ MIDI TOON to the javascript ".u.r. entering . christine's . cryb" message, to the GETTIN' JIGGY WIT JESUS links, this page is about as Assy as you can possibly get without being explicit in your statement of Assitude.

Christine, you see, is a Korean girl who writes like a 3LIt3 wAR3Z d00d, SHOUTZ OUT to evry1 wut zup, herez da 411 of diz AZZMAN N TRAENIN':

"obviously i'm an asian and prrrroud of it! hehe, yea, me full blooded -baek puh'cent- Korean, and it seems as tho da FOB world is da newest azn invazn out here. yupyup, whether iss da clothes, or da muzix, or da talk and wateba els dere may be, getting in touch wit pop culture and style is DEFINITELY kikkin in."

OK. Maybe it's unfair to pick out a page like this and just say "ASSMAN! You're an ASSMAN! ADMIT IT!" But there you have it. The Assman knows no mercy. Christine, you're an Assman. Sign up now.

It's not a bad thing. It's an Ass thing. And we need to keep you people quarantined from the rest of us. OK?

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

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