We're not like the others.  We really hate you.

     
 

Ugly, or Just Plain Annoying: Pick One
1999-07-12 23:07:37


Behold the Assman!
 
Pigdog Journal: The Weapons Grade Handbook for Bad People of the Future
-- The Compulsive Splicer

 

This site is so mean that I paused for a moment as I started to record it into the Pigdog Data Vault here at Spock Mountain Research Labs: should I put this thing up? Should I give this nasty topfuglypeeps@yahoo.com person credibility?

"Of course you should," said Mr. Bad as he strolled by with a cat-o-nine-tails and a six-pack of Red Bull Energy Drinks. Then he kicked me in the balls. He's a really bad person, and eats people like topfuglypeeps@yahoo.com for lunch.

Anyway, ignore the big disclaimer here about how "this is not a hate site" and "these people are all shining with inner beauty," because whoever does this is just sort of fucked up. Ugly people, page after page of them; no names, just pictures culled from personal web pages, fortunately uncommented: their ugliness or deformity is meant to stand alone as sufficient comment. Unfortunately, it just makes me feel sort of sad for whoever does this site.

Six categories: Big Nose, Dorks, Fiznatties (fat people,) Scary, Ugly and Pretty (the pretty people are there for sort of the same reason football teams keep oxygen tanks on the sidelines.) To be honest, I didn't find all the ugly people all that ugly, for some reason. Whoever does this site has a pretty arbitrary rating system for phsyical beauty: some of the "pretty" girls he features made me want to yak, while some of the ugly ones gave me a stiffy, to be perfectly honest. Maybe I'm just a big, dumb, dogshit-eating hillbilly, but caked-on makeup and big clog shoes don't do much for me. And also, his "fatties" weren't all that terribly fat. I've seen MUCH fatter people on Springer. And his criteria for "dork" seems to be "Hahaha, look at that guy with the goatee!"

I will admit, though, that a lot of the people in the "scary" section are pretty fucking scary looking, but there are enough normal people just sort of going along with their business that get reamed here just for looking "different" in some minor or subliminal way that I proudly award Mr. Ugly Monger the coveted Pigdog "Assman of the Week" Award, even though he probably wasn't even trying to win.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

xxxlover@pigdog.org


comments powered by Disqus
 
     

 

C L A S S I C   P I G D O G

Escape to Spock Mountain!
by Baron Earl

Interviewing the SETIguy
by Siduri

WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS
by Mr. Bad

GNUisance
by El Snatcher, Mr. Bad

12-04

El Destino

What teenaged girls really wanted to ask David Cassidy

10-09

El Destino

Frank Sinatra told Donald Trump to "go fuck himself"

07-05

El Destino

Whatever happened to JenniCam's Jennifer Ringley?

05-03

El Destino

Iíve Made Millions Selling Fake Plastic Hillbilly Teeth

05-03

Baron Earl

Fyre Fest Lawsuit

05-03

Baron Earl

US Government uses drones to shoot M&Ms at endangered ferrets

05-03

Baron Earl

When will the abuse of airline passengers stop?

05-03

El Destino

Hillbilly miner turned coder wants to make Kentucky into "Silicon Holler"

03-31

El Destino

86-year-old William Shatner cast in a new romantic comedy: 'Senior Moment'

03-19

El Destino

New ransomware taunts its victims with ASCII art of Spock and Kirk

01-26

Flesh

Alex Jones is Big, Fat, And Drunk in Public.

08-01

El Destino

Amazon's secret: incest in the Kindle ad?

08-01

El Destino

Slut Walk! Sexy feminist protest, or invaders from Mars?

04-25

Daemon Agent

The Quest for the Best Cheap Beer in a Can

04-25

Eugene Leitl

Beverage science at its finest

04-16

El Destino

YouTube punishes copyright offenders with animated pirate cat

04-09

Baron Earl

Poll shows that almost half of Mississippi's Republicans think interracial marriage should be illegal

04-07

Baron Earl

Commodore64 redux - now with Linux

04-06

El Destino

George Takei demonstrates why he should be playing Spider-Man

04-01

El Destino

High school students sacrifice chickens to improve their batting average

More Quickies...