Build Date: Wed Nov 12 07:00:07 2025 UTC
Liquor is God's holiest gift to us.
-- Joseph S. Barrera III
Ugly, or Just Plain Annoying: Pick One
1999-07-12 23:07:37
This site is so mean that I paused for a moment as I started to record it into the Pigdog Data Vault here at Spock Mountain Research Labs: should I put this thing up? Should I give this nasty topfuglypeeps@yahoo.com person credibility?
"Of course you should," said Mr. Bad as he strolled by with a cat-o-nine-tails and a six-pack of Red Bull Energy Drinks. Then he kicked me in the balls. He's a really bad person, and eats people like topfuglypeeps@yahoo.com for lunch.
Anyway, ignore the big disclaimer here about how "this is not a hate site" and "these people are all shining with inner beauty," because whoever does this is just sort of fucked up. Ugly people, page after page of them; no names, just pictures culled from personal web pages, fortunately uncommented: their ugliness or deformity is meant to stand alone as sufficient comment. Unfortunately, it just makes me feel sort of sad for whoever does this site.
Six categories: Big Nose, Dorks, Fiznatties (fat people,) Scary, Ugly and Pretty (the pretty people are there for sort of the same reason football teams keep oxygen tanks on the sidelines.) To be honest, I didn't find all the ugly people all that ugly, for some reason. Whoever does this site has a pretty arbitrary rating system for phsyical beauty: some of the "pretty" girls he features made me want to yak, while some of the ugly ones gave me a stiffy, to be perfectly honest. Maybe I'm just a big, dumb, dogshit-eating hillbilly, but caked-on makeup and big clog shoes don't do much for me. And also, his "fatties" weren't all that terribly fat. I've seen MUCH fatter people on Springer. And his criteria for "dork" seems to be "Hahaha, look at that guy with the goatee!"
I will admit, though, that a lot of the people in the "scary" section are pretty fucking scary looking, but there are enough normal people just sort of going along with their business that get reamed here just for looking "different" in some minor or subliminal way that I proudly award Mr. Ugly Monger the coveted Pigdog "Assman of the Week" Award, even though he probably wasn't even trying to win.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
When you've been up all night sampling other Spocktails and guzzling absinthe, you need a morning pick-me-up with some KICK. Time for a tall glass of Blurry Sharp Meltdown! (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Our man Daemon Agent checks out the heavy heavy sounds of crazy space surf rockers Man or Astroman?. (More...)
Body and Soul, a night of fucking in San Francisco
For the benefit of Pigdog readers, I took it upon myself to explore the deep frontiers of human behavior and attend a saucy festival of the flesh. This was no ordinary fete of carnal delights, dearie. (More...)
Last week I had eye surgery and it was certainly one of the least enjoyable episodes of my life. Eye Surgeons like their patients to be conscious enough so that they can move their eyes to the proper position during surgery. (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
