Build Date: Wed Sep 16 01:32:23 2026 UTC
If I could give up Linux and masturbation, I'd probably gain 30 working hours in a week.
-- The Compulsive Splicer
Ugly, or Just Plain Annoying: Pick One
1999-07-12 23:07:37
This site is so mean that I paused for a moment as I started to record it into the Pigdog Data Vault here at Spock Mountain Research Labs: should I put this thing up? Should I give this nasty topfuglypeeps@yahoo.com person credibility?
"Of course you should," said Mr. Bad as he strolled by with a cat-o-nine-tails and a six-pack of Red Bull Energy Drinks. Then he kicked me in the balls. He's a really bad person, and eats people like topfuglypeeps@yahoo.com for lunch.
Anyway, ignore the big disclaimer here about how "this is not a hate site" and "these people are all shining with inner beauty," because whoever does this is just sort of fucked up. Ugly people, page after page of them; no names, just pictures culled from personal web pages, fortunately uncommented: their ugliness or deformity is meant to stand alone as sufficient comment. Unfortunately, it just makes me feel sort of sad for whoever does this site.
Six categories: Big Nose, Dorks, Fiznatties (fat people,) Scary, Ugly and Pretty (the pretty people are there for sort of the same reason football teams keep oxygen tanks on the sidelines.) To be honest, I didn't find all the ugly people all that ugly, for some reason. Whoever does this site has a pretty arbitrary rating system for phsyical beauty: some of the "pretty" girls he features made me want to yak, while some of the ugly ones gave me a stiffy, to be perfectly honest. Maybe I'm just a big, dumb, dogshit-eating hillbilly, but caked-on makeup and big clog shoes don't do much for me. And also, his "fatties" weren't all that terribly fat. I've seen MUCH fatter people on Springer. And his criteria for "dork" seems to be "Hahaha, look at that guy with the goatee!"
I will admit, though, that a lot of the people in the "scary" section are pretty fucking scary looking, but there are enough normal people just sort of going along with their business that get reamed here just for looking "different" in some minor or subliminal way that I proudly award Mr. Ugly Monger the coveted Pigdog "Assman of the Week" Award, even though he probably wasn't even trying to win.
T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
Canadia Revealed: A Brief Guide to a Large Country
Recently Pigdog has received many letters from readers who are apparently puzzled and upset by our regular coverage of the mysterious nation north of our border, Canadia. (More...)
About 14 years ago when I was on a road trip and stopped in Seattle, I was invited to a party. At this party there were these little tiny glasses sitting in a flat-bottomed bowl of ice. Thin cylinders about an inch in diameter and 4 inches tall, with thick glass at the bottom. Into these were poured frozen AKVAVIT... also known as the water of life. (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
