I used to think that nobody could possibly call themselves
something like "Assman," even in a "Hey looka me everybody
-- I gotta lampshade onna my head!" self-deprecating, party
animal kind of way. But it's true. LOTS of people want to
be the Assman. They probably even live closer to you
than you THINK, friend!
For instance, look at Stephen "Assman" Payne here. He's wearing a sombrero.
He's making a funny face. He's some kind of student. On his resume, he
confidently expresses his familiarity with the Windows 3.1 operating system and
BASIC programming language. He's interested in HTML, and feels he would bring
experience, enthusiasm and attention to detail and quality to your
He's worked with "costly machinery" in the past, he's a friendly and reliable
person; he's an Assman.
Let's face it: there probably isn't enough time left on the millenium clock to
examine in depth all the Assmen of the Internet before the Y2K problem makes
our computers explode, like the newspaper columnists keep saying it will. But
here is a solemn pledge: as long as there is a Pigdog, there will always be a
place for Assmen, and the Exploits and Wacky Real-Life Adventures of the
Congratulations to Stephen Payne, Pigdog's Assman of the Week!