Build Date: Sat Jul 5 19:20:20 2025 UTC
We must pioneer the next step after telecommuting: TELEBARHOPPING.
-- The Compulsive Splicer
Communion Anal Probe Scene Museum
1999-08-24 05:31:51
Many people consider Christopher Walken's finest acting job to be his roll in The Deer Hunter, the 1978 film about the effects of Vietnam. He garnered the Best-Supporting-Actor Oscar for it. However, his true tour de force is Communion, a greatly under appreciated film about bad, buggerin' aliens.
Communion is the film adaptation of nebbishy author Witley Strieber's true story of alien abduction. "The Visitors," as they are called, repeatedly kidnapped him and performed horrible probing maneuvers on him in their spaceship. Christopher Walken plays Witley Strieber.
What makes the film interesting is that Christopher Walken manages to make Witley Strieber seem like a normal person. Walken is so good at playing evil freakouts, that its hard to remember sometimes that he can also play the Everyman quite well.
What makes the film INCREDIBLE is that Christopher Walken is basically cast against a bunch of paper mache puppets, yet it works. Sometimes the aliens look like cardboard cutouts on sticks. Some of them look like midgets in Halloween masks. But Walken manages to make them all ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING (I mean more terrifying than midgets in Halloween masks already are). His roll amounts to a series of fantastic monologues. The monologues of a desperate man trying to reason with aliens. Talk to them. Persuade them from going for his bunghole.
And now, some Web site calling itself "The Doogieland Amusement Park" has a page devoted to one of the most horrifying scenes in Communion, the anal probe scene, complete with pictures and wav files. It is a wonderful museum.
Go there now.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
40 Acres, a Mule, and a Crummy 90-Second Spot on Weekend Update
Consider the plight of the Black Man. The Black Man on "Saturday Night Live," I mean. Has there ever been a more pathetic thing than a token unredeemed for 28 years? Where is the NAACP when you really need them? (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
This is one for the Ages. Our new signature SMRL drink. We beta tested this several weeks ago at the Goat Brothers B-Day Party. Oh my! (More...)
Naked Australian Redhead -- Missing!
She posed naked on the web, fought for pornography online, and even kept an online "Diary of a Virtual Girlfriend." But after earning a place in internet history, Bernadette Taylor vanished without a trace. (More...)