Jeezus peezus! Crazy-ass Matt McConaughey is BUSTED in
TEXAS! Which is a shitty place to get busted, let me tell
you! Mother fuck!
I gotta say that I have NEWFOUND RESPECT for Matt McConaughey. Beaujolais to
him! He was arrested after a disturbance in his home where he was found DANCING
NAKED and PLAYING THE BONGOS! Go, Matty, go!
I've never really liked this guy, but everyone must admit that this is a KICKASS
way to fly! Most losers
like Robert Downey Jr. flit in and out of Betty Ford and whine a lot in
exclusive Hollywood clubs where a Bombay Sapphire martini costs $17.
But Matt McConaughey smokes big DOPE in his AUSTIN HOME and dances like a
BURNING MAN FREAK. Folks, I think I
LIKE THIS GUY.
Of course, the media coverage is pretty cruel -- they make a point of noting
that Matty was in "Dazed and Confused," which was of course a STONER MOVIE about
STONERS and stuff with lots of DRUGS. They didn't point out that he was in "Lone
Star," of course, because that's a COP MOVIE with lots of COPS doing stuff like
TAKING BRIBES and KILLING MEXICANS. That's not something the AP stringers in
Austin like to talk about. Much better to see the funny stoner dance. Look at
the funny stoner!
I think this whole incident begs the question: is Matt McConaughey the next
Woody Harrelson? I hope so, because Woody's
starting to look a little ragged around the edges if you ask me. In any event, I
encourage everyone of the cannabian persuasion to ROAST a BIG FAT BONGLOAD
tonight for Matt McConaughey, Stoner Celebrity of the Week!
