Build Date: Wed Sep 9 12:42:50 2026 UTC
All Bad People of the Future had shitty lives as Miserable People of the Past.
-- Johnnie Royale
Arkansas Hillbillies Speed Up
1999-06-11 20:50:30
Methamphetamine have become the drug of choice for people that live in the Northwest corner of Arkansas - according to a two part special report published in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette and posted on Arkansas Online.
Bad hillbillies have switched from drinking and making moonshine to shooting and mixing Meth. The DEA, Arkansas police and a dozen other agencies have joined together in an attempt to fight this trend, but if I know my hillbilly, this is just more federal money being pissed down a rat hole in the name of Drug Enforcement. These hillbillies have been making 90 proof home brew since man first walked in the Ozarks and decades of Revenuers and G-men haven't been able to stop them from making their high test, bad tasting whiskey. So it seems unlikely that they will stop them from making Methamptetamines in the Ozarks.
The cops called their most recent sting against the "Meth Monster" Operation Daycare as it seems many hillbillies like to use their kids diapers as a hiding place for this illegal drug or bring their children along when they buy or sell drugs. Like I said, these are Bad Hillbillies.
The surprising thing is that with all the "local" knowledge in liquor production you'd figured that this area would be self-sufficient when it comes to producing its own chemicals... but that is apparently not the case. Massive amounts of methamptetamines are right now being produced in the "super-labs" in super cool Southern California and shipped via Interstate 40 to the backwoods of Arkansas. Go figure.

T O P S T O R I E S
John Dvorak has passed. I’m of mixed emotions. First off I’m more positive about his contribution to the overall technology journalism of the early PC days through the 90s, despite how many things he got wrong. He was a firebrand and commanded attention. (More...)
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
From the mixed up files of citizen 566-77-0776 (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
Owner of 6 Medical Marijuana Dispensaries Arrested
Reefer madness or a government fabrication? (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)