Celebrity endorsement impersonated

     
 

Arkansas Hillbillies Speed Up
1999-06-11 20:50:30


Substance Recreation
 
Has anyone ever told you you're sexy when you get all passive-agressive?
-- The Compulsive Splicer

 

Methamphetamine have become the drug of choice for people that live in the Northwest corner of Arkansas - according to a two part special report published in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette and posted on Arkansas Online.

Bad hillbillies have switched from drinking and making moonshine to shooting and mixing Meth. The DEA, Arkansas police and a dozen other agencies have joined together in an attempt to fight this trend, but if I know my hillbilly, this is just more federal money being pissed down a rat hole in the name of Drug Enforcement. These hillbillies have been making 90 proof home brew since man first walked in the Ozarks and decades of Revenuers and G-men haven't been able to stop them from making their high test, bad tasting whiskey. So it seems unlikely that they will stop them from making Methamptetamines in the Ozarks.

The cops called their most recent sting against the "Meth Monster" Operation Daycare as it seems many hillbillies like to use their kids diapers as a hiding place for this illegal drug or bring their children along when they buy or sell drugs. Like I said, these are Bad Hillbillies.

The surprising thing is that with all the "local" knowledge in liquor production you'd figured that this area would be self-sufficient when it comes to producing its own chemicals... but that is apparently not the case. Massive amounts of methamptetamines are right now being produced in the "super-labs" in super cool Southern California and shipped via Interstate 40 to the backwoods of Arkansas. Go figure.

Over.  End of Story.  Go home now.

backdraft@pigdog.org


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